Archive for March, 2012

It’s For My Boyfriend.

Clerk, sell­ing con­doms: What size would you like?
Ghet­to guy, look­ing at girl next in line: The biggest size you got!

Delaware


…Is the Moral Of the Bible.

Pro­fes­sor: There is one good thing about be­ing a pub­lic en­e­my. Peo­ple take you se­ri­ous­ly.

Oglethor­pe Uni­ver­si­ty
At­lanta, Geor­gia


This Will Be on the Ex­am.

Pro­fes­sor, on Stal­in’s five year plan: Now as is of­ten the case for some­thing like this un­der­tak­ing to be suc­cess­ful, he had to kill a few mil­lion moth­er­fuck­ers to get shit done. But hey, worked out pret­ty good for him.

Com­par­a­tive Gov­ern­ment
Flori­da State Uni­ver­si­ty


Some Peo­ple Just Aren’t Cut Out to Be AV Nerds

Girl: At first I was like, “what is that blind­ing light?” and then I re­al­ized I was star­ing right in­to the pro­jec­tor and I felt re­al­ly smart.

Eu­gene, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: nys­sa


You Own a Mid-80’s Neo­prene Vest? Dis­turb­ing.

Hip­ster: You know you’re in a bad neigh­bour­hood when a pa­tron of your garage sale asks, “is this bul­let­proof?” in all se­ri­ous­ness while pick­ing up a mid-80s vest with neo­prene ac­cents.

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Mar­ty


Tonight’s Movie: Broke­Black­Ber­ry Moun­tain

Loud flam­boy­ant gay man on cell: Yeah! I, like, just changed my cell phone! Yeah, I did­n’t even have to pay for it! No, I’m go­ing to pay the guy back with a blowjob.

Eu­re­ka, Cal­i­for­nia


The Trade-Off Is More Cooties

Ex­as­per­at­ed five-year-old to younger sis­ter throw­ing tem­per tantrum: You would be a lot less an­noy­ing if you were a boy.

Lit­tle Rock, Arkansas

Over­heard by: Ain’t that the truth