Teacher: When you think of the west, what do you think of?
Student #1: Chinese people!
Student #2: Burritos!
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: MM
Archive for March, 2012
Then We Realized Our Bong Was Someone’s Prosthetic Leg
Girl #1: Well, he lost his teeth at a Tom Petty concert.
Girl #2: Oh, like was he in a fight and they got punched out?
Girl #1: Oh no, he had taken them out so he could smoke out of a bong, and then he forgot where he left them…
Brookline, Massachusetts
It’s Amazing What You Can Do with a Pair Of Binoculars and Curtainless Neighbors
Girl #1: Do you watch American Idol?
Girl #2: No, I don’t have a tv.
Girl #3: Ohmigod, what do you sit and look at?
Ottawa
Canadia
Threesomes Are Hot
30-something woman to couple making out: Y’all need Jesus.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
That’s What the Nude Drawing Teacher Said!
Stats teacher: Alright, it needs to look more like a balloon, less like a cigar. (pause) More like a cigar, less like a balloon.
Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia
Paul Is an Expert at the Art Of Brinkmanship
Girlfriend to Asian boyfriend staring at her chest: Ugh! Will you stop! It’s getting annoying!
Asian boyfriend: Oh. Okay. (pauses as his eyes wander to another chick) I’ll go look at another hot girl’s boobs.
Girlfriend, rolling eyes: Okay, fine, you can stare.
Manhattan, New York
There’s a “Divide Their Legs and Multiply” Joke in Here Somewhere
Maths tutor: Prostitutes… I call them “street babes.”
Springvale
Melbourne
Australia
…Divorced? Oh, That’s Too Bad.
Blonde girl on phone: Hi dad! Congratulations on getting married!
Family, shouting to phone: Congratulations!
Blonde girl: We just wanted to make sure you actually went through with it this time.
Mesa, Arizona
I’m Actually Growing As a Person
Man on cell: Hey, mom, guess what I’ve got? Foot fungus!
Flagstaff, Arizona
