Archive for March, 2012

Then We Realized Our Bong Was Someone’s Prosthetic Leg

Girl #1: Well, he lost his teeth at a Tom Petty concert.
Girl #2: Oh, like was he in a fight and they got punched out?
Girl #1: Oh no, he had taken them out so he could smoke out of a bong, and then he forgot where he left them…

Brookline, Massachusetts

Threesomes Are Hot

30-something woman to couple making out: Y’all need Jesus.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

That’s What the Nude Drawing Teacher Said!

Stats teacher: Alright, it needs to look more like a balloon, less like a cigar. (pause) More like a cigar, less like a balloon.

Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia

Paul Is an Expert at the Art Of Brinkmanship

Girlfriend to Asian boyfriend staring at her chest: Ugh! Will you stop! It’s getting annoying!
Asian boyfriend: Oh. Okay. (pauses as his eyes wander to another chick) I’ll go look at another hot girl’s boobs.
Girlfriend, rolling eyes: Okay, fine, you can stare.

Manhattan, New York

…Divorced? Oh, That’s Too Bad.

Blonde girl on phone: Hi dad! Congratulations on getting married!
Family, shouting to phone: Congratulations!
Blonde girl: We just wanted to make sure you actually went through with it this time.

Mesa, Arizona