Archive for April, 2012

Which Is What I Named My Baby

Cute guy: Katrice is a pretty name. I’ve never heard it before.
Cute girl: Yeah… It’s like polio.

Tempe, Arizona

Airplane Food Has Always Been for the Birds

Pilot, after hitting a flock of birds during takeoff: Hey folks,I would just like to announce that we now have fried quail on the lunch menu for this flight.

Dulles Airport
Washington, DC

Explain How

Bombshell personal trainer on cell: Well, you know, world history and world history of theater are different… Because one is world history, and the other is world history of theater… World history is more general, it’s got wars and theater and long-term stuff, and world history of theater is the world history of theater. They’re different…

Women’s Gym
Studio City

Overheard by: Urz

But This Is Still a Cake Decorating Class, Right?

Eccentric professor, on first day of class: So scientists told us that atoms are the smallest part of matter, right? So we go on believing this for years and years and year. One day, someone breaks open an atom and a whole bunch of other shit comes out! That is what we’re going to do with societal views in this class.

Centenary College
Shreveport, Louisiana

Shun Him!

Man: Look, I don’t know what my dream in life is, but it is not to rescue quarter horses with Dave Matthews!

Frederick, Maryland

Overheard by: Nic

Hey, Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut…

Roommate: Did you hear that Laquisha is pregnant?
Roommate’s friend: What?
Roommate: Yeah, she didn’t think she could get pregnant ’cause he nut in her shorts.

Greenwood, South Carolina

Overheard by: Amanda


Student, speaking to prospective students and their parents: Professors are always available for you. In fact, some of them even make you come.

Women’s College
Milwaukee, Wisconsin