Archive for April, 2012

Which Is What I Named My Ba­by

Cute guy: Ka­trice is a pret­ty name. I’ve nev­er heard it be­fore.
Cute girl: Yeah… It’s like po­lio.

Tempe, Ari­zona


Air­plane Food Has Al­ways Been for the Birds

Pi­lot, af­ter hit­ting a flock of birds dur­ing take­off: Hey folks,I would just like to an­nounce that we now have fried quail on the lunch menu for this flight.

Dulles Air­port
Wash­ing­ton, DC


Ex­plain How

Bomb­shell per­son­al train­er on cell: Well, you know, world his­to­ry and world his­to­ry of the­ater are dif­fer­ent… Be­cause one is world his­to­ry, and the oth­er is world his­to­ry of the­ater… World his­to­ry is more gen­er­al, it’s got wars and the­ater and long-term stuff, and world his­to­ry of the­ater is the world his­to­ry of the­ater. They’re dif­fer­ent…

Wom­en’s Gym
Stu­dio City
Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Urz


But This Is Still a Cake Dec­o­rat­ing Class, Right?

Ec­cen­tric pro­fes­sor, on first day of class: So sci­en­tists told us that atoms are the small­est part of mat­ter, right? So we go on be­liev­ing this for years and years and year. One day, some­one breaks open an atom and a whole bunch of oth­er shit comes out! That is what we’re go­ing to do with so­ci­etal views in this class.

Cen­te­nary Col­lege
Shreve­port, Louisiana


Shun Him!

Man: Look, I don’t know what my dream in life is, but it is not to res­cue quar­ter hors­es with Dave Matthews!

Fred­er­ick, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Nic


Hey, Some­times You Feel Like a Nut…

Room­mate: Did you hear that Laquisha is preg­nant?
Room­mate’s friend: What?
Room­mate: Yeah, she did­n’t think she could get preg­nant ’cause he nut in her shorts.

Green­wood, South Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: Aman­da