Man to group: It’s go­ing to be a great day if I can just re­lax and watch Schindler’s List.

Toron­to
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: jm

Eu­ro­pean-look­ing guy to an­oth­er: All this shank­ing, man! I shank, she shanks, you shank!

Har­vard Square
Cam­bridge, Mass­a­chu­setts

30-some­thing moth­er, mat­ter of fact­ly: Yep and they are rag­ing in your vagi­na.
Em­bar­rassed teenage daugh­ter: Gee, thanks mom!

Cal­i­for­nia

Hip­ster guy to barista: Whore­house, ten o’­clock?

Star­bucks
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: Di­anach­ka

Guy #1: Do you want to see some­thing gay?
Guy #2: No, do you want to see some­thing gay? Dude, I have, like, the gayest thing ever. I’ll text it to you lat­er.

Eu­gene, Ore­gon

Over­heard by: nys­sa

Op­por­tunis­tic girl: I’ve been known to date guys for their per­son­al­i­ties… Oh, and he has a boat!

Uni­ver­si­ty of Flori­da

Kid at Wal-Mart, star­ing at large Valen­tine’s Day stuffed an­i­mals: Hey, mom! This one has a heart on!

Wal-Mart
Michi­gan

30-some­thing white guy in but­ton-down and chi­nos in wealthy sub­urb: Yo, what’s good ma nig­ga?

Larch­mont, New York

Over­heard by: Di­anach­ka

10-year-old boy open­ing up van door: Holy shit! It’s like a hot box in here!

Ot­tawa
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Er­ic

Stu­dent to an­oth­er: She’s got the biggest pe­nis in the psych ward!

George Ma­son Uni­ver­si­ty
Fair­fax Coun­ty, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: Katie