Archive for June, 2012

And Therein Lies the Problem

Girl #1: I mean, I would totally go to Italy, if it wasn’t in South America.
Girl #2: Yeah, I can understand that.

East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina

Overheard by: Passing by in awe

Being in the Mafia Is a 24/7 Job

College girl: And then I told him “I have to get back to my rats…”

University of Florida

Overheard by: …what the heck?

No Shit!

Middle school girl: Oh, god! I feel like I just had…
High school girl: A colonoscopy?

Lock Haven, Pennsylvania

At Least Children Are Honest

One year old: (cries and yells loudly)
Teacher: You’re going to wake up all my friends. That’ll make me sad. Do you want me to cry?
One year old: (pauses, nods emphatically)

Preschool, Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Ken Doll Has Always Had Issues at School

Professor, on Milton’s Paradise Lost: What was it that Adam and Eve had in the Garden of Eden that none of you have?
Student #1: Innocence?
Professor: Aaaand?
Student #2: A perfect relationship with god?
Professor: Aaaaand?
Student #3: Sex organs?
Entire class: (stares, then starts laughing)
Professor: Do you have something you’d like to share with the class, young man?

Amherst, Massachusetts

The Same Prayer J Lo Says Each Morning

Older man: And god saved me from cancer, I’m supposed to be dead. God bless you. God bless me… (goes on about god without pausing for breath)
Three-year-old boy: Bless my butt!
Older man: Well, nice to meet you. (walks away)

Coastal Maine

Overheard by: KatVO

And You Know How You Have a Dog Sit on It to Keep It Warm?

Waitress: Yeah, we think we know why it tasted funny. You know how you defrost, then refreeze, the defrost and then cook seafood?
Group of diners: (blank stare)
Waitress: Yeah, we think it was that.
Group of diners: What?