Archive for August, 2012

There, or in a Purple Boot, Like Prince.

Young girl: That’s pretty!
Mom: That’s the projects.
Young girl: Oh. Well, that’s pretty! I wish we could live somewhere like that.

Los Angeles, California

…And Thanks for Finding My Car Keys

Middle-aged Asian woman to younger Asian woman, with attitude: We just established that your anus is smaller than mine.

Ross Department Store
San Francisco, California

Obama Haters Have Just Gotten Absurd Lately

Redneck in jorts: First he start’s talkin’ shit about my girl, then he tries to fuck with my cousin’s baby mama!

Dorm, University of Georgia

Overheard by: diver2

Ooooo, You Just Sounded So Awkward and Uncomfortable!

Student nurse #1, in hospital lobby: But in all honesty, I really prefer boys between the ages of eight and thirteen. They’re so awkward and uncomfortable.
Student nurse #2: Wait, what are we talking about here?

Muskegon, Michigan

Overheard by: Ivory

And No Open Flames

Mother, shouting at her screaming toddler: Why are you crying? There are no marshmallows anywhere near the vicinity of your face!

Flea Market
Clarksville, Indiana

Now He Looks Like an Adorable Little Anteater

Woman: I superglued my nephew’s fingers to his nose the other day.
Friend: What?
Woman: He wouldn’t stop picking his nose.

Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Isotope Feeney