Archive for August, 2012

There, or in a Pur­ple Boot, Like Prince.

Young girl: That’s pret­ty!
Mom: That’s the projects.
Young girl: Oh. Well, that’s pret­ty! I wish we could live some­where like that.

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

…And Thanks for Find­ing My Car Keys

Mid­dle-aged Asian woman to younger Asian woman, with at­ti­tude: We just es­tab­lished that your anus is small­er than mine.

Ross De­part­ment Store
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Ooooo, You Just Sound­ed So Awk­ward and Un­com­fort­able!

Stu­dent nurse #1, in hos­pi­tal lob­by: But in all hon­esty, I re­al­ly pre­fer boys be­tween the ages of eight and thir­teen. They’re so awk­ward and un­com­fort­able.
Stu­dent nurse #2: Wait, what are we talk­ing about here?

Muskegon, Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Ivory

And No Open Flames

Moth­er, shout­ing at her scream­ing tod­dler: Why are you cry­ing? There are no marsh­mal­lows any­where near the vicin­i­ty of your face!

Flea Mar­ket
Clarksville, In­di­ana

I’m a Man and I Know How to Do Things

Drunk guy wait­ing on the plat­form: How long do we have to wait for the el? 3 min­utes? That’s longer than I have sex for. What? You want me to lie? You want me to say I have sex for 45 min­utes? At least I’m hon­est.

El Plat­form
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: Car­ol