Archive for September, 2012

Or, “Ex­cuse Me, Ma’am, Would You Mind Be­ing My Sex­u­al Drei­del?”

Gangs­ta guy #1 in ref­er­ence to yo­ga ad: Damn, I need me a woman like that!
Gangs­ta guy #2: You need a lot of class to get a woman like that.
Gangs­ta guy #1: Or a lot­ta cash mon­ey.
Gangs­ta guy #2: Or just say “I’m­ma put you on yo head and fuck the shit out­ta you!”

Chica­go, Illi­nois


A, B, or C?

Girl: My par­ty sucked.
Friend: No it did­n’t!!
Girl: No, my par­ty sucked.
Guy: Your par­ty had he­pati­tis.

Hobo­ken, New Jer­sey


In­di­ana Jones?

Girl on cell: And then I was like Sam­my Davis Jr. Is not the same per­son as Samuel L. Jack­son! (pause) Wait, which one has the prob­lem with the snakes?

Pica­dil­ly Cir­cus
Lon­don, Eng­land


You Re­al­ly Open My Eyes to Dif­fer­ent Points Of View

Uni­ver­si­ty girl #1: Wow I like your mit­tens, they look like cow wool or some­thing… Or maybe sheep wool. (pause) I guess all wool is sheep wool, is­n’t it?
Uni­ver­si­ty girl #2: Yeah, I guess I nev­er re­al­ly thought about it that way!

Mon­tre­al
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: The zoe


Bite Your Tongue!

Rug­by play­er: So… My foren­sic an­thro­pol­o­gy midterm now has the Fi­bonac­ci se­quence scrib­bled on the edge. Is that bad?
Friend: Well, look on the bright side: it’s a step up from dead ba­by jokes!

Au­raria Cam­pus
Den­ver, Col­orado

Over­heard by: Lee