Archive for November, 2012

Every DMV Everywhere

it was a shitty night. Two guys started getting rough with me, and I had to use the mace hose on them. Love you too, mom. Bye.

DMV — Chicago

We All Boop for Ice Cream

Big angry-looking biker-guy with skull tattoos, to ice cream shop server: Do you have any of those bendy-straws? You know, the kind that goes ‘boop-boop-boop’?

Tobermory, Ontario, Canada

Overheard by: Don’t judge a book…

This Isn’t South Carolina, Amy

<b>rocker dude:</b> you made out with billy*?
<b>tattooed chick:</b> I had to, he was yelling at me!
<b>rocker dude:</b> what do you mean he was yelling at you? What was he yelling?
<b>tattooed chick:</b> make out with me! Make out with me!

Charlotte, NC

Fucking Red Sox

Woman: I don’t smell like dead bodies anymore.

Boston, MA

Overheard by: Cryptic

Same Reason I Kept Getting Married

Old lady #1: (talking about 50 shades of grey) oh it’s hot. It’s very hot.
Old lady #2: I heard it’s supposed to be disgusting.
Old lady #1: Oh yes, it’s disgusting. It’s absolutely disgusting.
Physiotherapist: Then why are you reading it?
Old lady #1: Because there’s a second and third one.

Retirement Village, Perth, Australia

Don’t Judge Me– You Drink Starbucks.

Hitler lookalike w/ mustache and cannibal corpse t‑shirt, standing outside starbucks: Hey, would you buy me a coffee?
Vaguely jewish-looking hipster girl: Not after what you did!

Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: Sieg Fail

…You’re Bisexual– Got It

Curious man: Do you eat fish?
Inarticulate vegetarian woman: I do but I don’t, you know? It’s like, I do… But I don’t.
Curious man: Oh, okay.

Boston, MA

Overheard by: Cryptic