Archive for December, 2012

Is There Anything More Inspiring Than That?!

Guy looking out window on train: Oh! Those are the bike trails I wanted to tell you about. See how they are separate from the road there, then they join back up. They go all the way downtown.
(short lull in conversation)
Woman: So, I’m really proud of my mom for being sober…
Guy, cutting her off: Look! There’s the bike trail again, going under that bridge!

Portland, Oregon

Wouldn’t You Know If I’m Blond? Idiot.

Asian NY tourist girl: We should totally go to Hawaii!
Asian NY’s sister: Yeah, one of my friends has a place there!
Asian N tourist girl: Can you ask him if we can crash at his place?
Asian NY’s sister: I’ll see what he says!
Asian NY tourist girl: Oh, but what’s the currency there?
Asian NY guy: Are you blonde?
Asian NY tourist girl: Why?


I’m Guessing Many Of Yours Considered It

Professor, in middle of lecture about DNA: If I’m sick, I’m not going to give any money to the goddamn medical… Well, never mind. I’d rather go to Thailand and blow it all in one good go… Unlike women with the breast cancer gene, you think a 20-year-old man is going to go to a doctor and remove his prostate? No, he’ll say “I’ll give it a run, arrrgh!“
and parents can sequence a fetus’ genes! They say “you know, I don’t like that combination, let’s abort little Bobby!”

Tufts University
Medford, Massachusetts

Learned That the Hard Way

Science teacher: We’ll be learning about standard temperature pressure, also known as STP.
Student: STDs!?
Science teacher: No, STP! But you’re all very good at STDs.

Perth Modern School
Western Australia

Why I Wear Headphones on the Train.

Man answering phone: Hey baby, so how much? Oh god that’s money we could be savin! Or to go to the game! Well we gotta get her teeth fixed. What she do break her whole god-damn braces out her whole mouff? … No she gotta have teeth, baby… Its just 3 steps forward 2 back. Yeah baby… I know. Yeah bye.
Same guy #2 minutes later, angrily speaking thru clenched teeth on phone:
Mom, you better be ready this time cause I’m tired and cranky and every time I’m always waitin for you to get ready. I’m in newark now, go get your clothes on or you aint goin. Yes! Be ready or I’m leavin your ass home… Yeah mom… Bye bye mommy. Be ready. Bye.

NJ transit Newark > NYC

Overheard by: rick