Archive for November, 2013

I Used to Wear the Wonderbra, but I Kept Needing to Get Abortions

Sorority girl #1: So, like, you still get your period when you’re on the pill.
Sorority girl #2: Yeah, but not when you’re pregnant.
Sorority girl #1: So what’s the point of the pill, then?
Sorority girl #2: It totally makes your boobs bigger.

Lexington, Kentucky

The Streetcar Only Works Nights

Taxi dispatcher to taxi driver: You don’t have to say, ‘Taxi 41 calling.’ I know you’re a taxi. You’re not the streetcar named Desire.

Toronto, Ontario

Overheard by: Thanks for clearing that up

… Kindly Fellate Me, You Promiscuous Female Dog

Old black lady to friend: He had shit all fuckin’ dumped out all over the goddamned place, so I says, ‘What the fuck is you doin’, Raphael?’ And that mothafuckah says– [she looks around]. Shit, I forgot they’s white people up in here! Sorry, folks. So, Raphael had made such a terrible mess, so I asked him what he was doing, and he said…

Circle Centre Mall Concourse
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Perhaps It’s Time to Repair the Hole in Our Shared Wall

Girl: So, felching is when I rim you, right?
Guy: Something like that.
Girl: Is it like a frumpie? I think I’m more comfortable getting fucked in the ass by a girl than a guy. I mean, it’s like the oral thing — I’d rather lick a pussy while you fuck me than suck a dick.
Guy: Alright.
Girl: I can’t believe your neighbor knocked on your door to shut us up! That was too funny.
Guy: She’s British. She doesn’t really understand rough sex, just tea and finding her husband in her thongs.

Hop’s Grill and Bar
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: just trying to eat dinner without hearing the word ‘frumpie’