Archive for November, 2013

I Used to Wear the Won­der­bra, but I Kept Need­ing to Get Abor­tions

Soror­i­ty girl #1: So, like, you still get your pe­ri­od when you’re on the pill.
Soror­i­ty girl #2: Yeah, but not when you’re preg­nant.
Soror­i­ty girl #1: So what’s the point of the pill, then?
Soror­i­ty girl #2: It to­tal­ly makes your boobs big­ger.

Air­port
Lex­ing­ton, Ken­tucky

And Odds Are They’ll Both Re­pro­duce

Bim­bette #1: Hey, um­mm, how do I get my files out of the com­put­er?
Bim­bette #2: Wait… The com­put­ers are al­so fil­ing cab­i­nets?! No, wait — I don’t think they are…
Bim­bette #1: But is­n’t that where we get the pa­pers?
Bim­bette #2: What?
Bim­bette #1: What?

Hones­dale High School
Hones­dale, Penn­syl­va­nia

Over­heard by: Alex Lep­ro

The Street­car On­ly Works Nights

Taxi dis­patch­er to taxi dri­ver: You don’t have to say, ‘Taxi 41 call­ing.’ I know you’re a taxi. You’re not the street­car named De­sire.

Toron­to, On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: Thanks for clear­ing that up

… Kind­ly Fel­late Me, You Promis­cu­ous Fe­male Dog

Old black la­dy to friend: He had shit all fuckin’ dumped out all over the god­damned place, so I says, ‘What the fuck is you doin’, Raphael?’ And that moth­a­fuck­ah says– [she looks around]. Shit, I for­got they’s white peo­ple up in here! Sor­ry, folks. So, Raphael had made such a ter­ri­ble mess, so I asked him what he was do­ing, and he said…

Cir­cle Cen­tre Mall Con­course
In­di­anapo­lis, In­di­ana

Over­heard by: Shat­man­du

Per­haps It’s Time to Re­pair the Hole in Our Shared Wall

Girl: So, felch­ing is when I rim you, right?
Guy: Some­thing like that.
Girl: Is it like a frumpie? I think I’m more com­fort­able get­ting fucked in the ass by a girl than a guy. I mean, it’s like the oral thing — I’d rather lick a pussy while you fuck me than suck a dick.
Guy: Al­right.
Girl: I can’t be­lieve your neigh­bor knocked on your door to shut us up! That was too fun­ny.
Guy: She’s British. She does­n’t re­al­ly un­der­stand rough sex, just tea and find­ing her hus­band in her thongs.

Hop’s Grill and Bar
Gainesville, Flori­da

Over­heard by: just try­ing to eat din­ner with­out hear­ing the word ‘frumpie’