Archive for December, 2013

I’m Not Irresistible; That Makes It His Fault

Chick #1: Oh my god, I was so drunk last night! Do you think Lisa will get mad that I made out with her boyfriend?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: Well, it wasn’t really my fault.
Chick #2: Yes, it was. You basically went up to him, batted your eyelashes, and started making out.

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Laura

Wanna See My Picture with Santa?

Girl to guys talking about their Easter candy: You know, I just want to point out that you’re both 23 and still getting Easter candy from your parents.
Guy #1: Hey, it’s not like I asked for it!
Guy #2: And besides, it’s not from my mom. It’s from the bunny.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Danette

A Schedule C Controlled Nationality

Girl #1: Is Cuba part of North America?
Girl #2: Do they speak Spanish in Cuba?
Girl #1: Yes.
Girl #2: Then no. Cuba is not part of North America.
Guy: What about Mexico? They speak Spanish in Mexico.
Girl #2: Mexicans are illegal.

Isn’t That because It’s Ann Landers’s Birthday?

Professor: Adams and Jefferson weren’t the only presidents to die on the Fourth of July. Does anyone know the third?
Student #1: Was it Monroe?
Professor: Yes, Monroe also died on the Fourth of July. Quite interesting, isn’t it?
Student #2: Is that why we celebrate the Fourth of July?

Liberal Ed floor, Columbia College
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Ready to graduate