Ger­ald Is Known for His Bizarre Sum­maries of M*A*S*H

Guy: It would be like The Hills Have Eyes, ex­cept with Ko­re­ans.

http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com/2006/10/bizarre-twist-on-horror-classic-guy-it.html

Over­heard by: alyssa

Who Re­mem­bers Who Start­ed It? The Im­por­tant Thing Is We’re Go­ing to Fin­ish It

Five-year-old boy walk­ing past deli: Awww… Why do they have to kill chick­ens?
Sev­en-year-old sis­ter: Be­cause the chick­en is the nat­ur­al en­e­my of man.

Mary­land

Over­heard by: Gary Lewis

Top 10 All Time Scor­er on Grand Theft Au­to

Guy at ID counter: I’m sor­ry. Don’t shoot the mes­sen­ger.
Old la­dy: I’d rather shoot the po­lice…

http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com/2006/10/uhhh.html

Over­heard by: tom

Be Con­sid­er­ate of the Rest of Us

Jock: No, dude, you to­tal­ly have to use a con­dom with a plas­tic vagi­na.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html

Over­heard by: hung

I’ll Think of More Rea­sons Once I Start

Frat boy #1: I think I’m go­ing to start do­ing co­caine in­stead of mar­i­jua­na. I need to step it down a notch.
Frat boy #2: Uh, how is that step­ping it down, ex­act­ly?
Frat boy #1: I dun­no. I just think co­caine is more prac­ti­cal.

http://overheardina2.blogspot.com/2007/03/steppin-it-down-notch.html

Over­heard by: amy

P Did­dy: Just Call It ‘Sam­pling’

Client to de­sign agency, re­gard­ing their web­site: For sim­plic­i­ty’s sake, we ripped off a few things.

http://adverbatims.blogspot.com/2007/01/i‑need-it-4-yesterday-delivery-74.html

Noth­ing Like Tak­ing an Ex­am in the Af­ter­glow

Frat boy #1: I al­ready jacked off three times to­day!
Frat boy #2: Sweet! That’s what I’m go­ing to do as soon as I fin­ish this test.
Frat boy #1: Maybe I should just go rub one out in the bath­room now… [He leaves the room.]

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Over­heard by: Maxwell

Which Is a Fan­cy Word That Means ‘Re­quir­ing a Splint’

Soror­i­tard: I mean, he has, like, clin­i­cal de­pres­sion. That’s like break­ing your arm. It’s, like, hered­i­tary.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/sundays-best.html

Over­heard by: dek

Ap­par­ent­ly I’ve Nev­er Ex­pe­ri­enced 115 De­gree Heat

Fresh­man girl: It’s so much bet­ter when it’s cold than it is when it’s warm — all you can do when it’s 115 de­grees out is sit around and air out your vagi­na flaps!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html

Over­heard by: broy­ha­ha

Dude, I Re­mem­ber When You Were Cool

Frat boy: Nah, I’m not go­ing out tonight. I’d rather wake up to­mor­row and have a prob­lem set done in­stead of a fat girl.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/02/monday-madness.html

Over­heard by: doug