Father, explaining electrical cables to teenage son: Yeah, she’s got a transvestite in her wall. But you can convert the tranny back to a female, using the thing in the wall.
Wellington, New Zealand
Overheard by: Jordyn
Archive for June, 2015
I Lost Big in Pitch-and-Toss
Nerdy chick: The only time you did anything slutty was when you had sex with that carny on my kitchen floor.
Party, Western Michigan University
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Gotta Go With Your Strengths
20-something hippie blonde: What can I say? I love humping people!
Tenley Town
Washington, DC
Also Why Children Love the Berenstein Bears
Teen girl to teen friends: I wish I was mixed race–not really black. I mean, you’re brown all year round.
Nottingham
England
Overheard by: Johnny
Canadian Cumming, on the Other Hand…
White hipster lesbian to another: I hate Africa-gasms.
Ann Arbor, Michigan
I Guess That’s What They Want. What They Really, Really Want
Random guy, outside bank: I don’t get it! It’s like they’re spending their money on Spice Girls tickets instead of drugs!
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: irina
Let’s Just Say Rudolph’s Girlfriend Has Her “Monthly Visitor”
Girl #1: Every time I watch Rudolph, it gives me stress.
Girl #2: That show is horrible!
Girl #1: See, those little reindeer, they didn’t know any better, but Dancer was a grown-ass reindeer! He knew better than to treat Rudolph like that, tellin’ his own kid not to play with Rudolph… That’s some straight-up bullshit.
Guy: And why was Rudolph’s nose red if both of his parents’ noses were black?
Girl #2: ‘Cause his mom was a ho.
Girl #1: Y’know, Dancer was probably his mom’s punk-ass baby-daddy. And you know what? Even Santa didn’t know how to act. If I was Rudolph, I would tell Santa, ‘Oh, hell no!‘
Girl #2: Oh, hell no!
Girl #1: ‘Santa better get his fat ass up there and guide his own shit, after he be treatin’ me like that! Oh, hell no!’
http://www.overheardinpittsburgh.com/
Horses: Are You Putting on Weight?
Chick: … And that’s why I’m scared of horses! They’re so mean!
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Taylor Boatright
I Bury My Pets in the Back Yard
Girl on phone: She kept it. She didn’t even donate it to Locks of Love, in case she ever goes bald.
UC
Santa Cruz, California
Overheard by: Tom
Mary Now Remembers Why They Stopped Dating
Girl, to guy who just got off a ski lift: Joe? Is that you? It’s Mary. We used to date!
Guy: Oh, yeah, I thought you looked familiar from behind.
Ski Resort
Tahoe, Nevada
