Archive for June, 2015

I Bury My Pets in the Back Yard

Girl on phone: She kept it. She did­n’t even do­nate it to Locks of Love, in case she ever goes bald.

San­ta Cruz, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: Tom

It’s Time to Play How Long ‘Til His Head Ex­plodes!

French met­ro­sex­u­al, hold­ing up iPhone: It’s from Madame But­ter­fly. You know it?
French bike cop: Yeah, I saw the Amer­i­can movie of it. With that one ho­mo­sex­u­al ac­tor. Rob­bie… Robin…
British din­ner guest: Rob­bie Williams?
Amer­i­can din­ner guest: Robin Williams? Wait, he’s not gay…
French bike cop: Yes. Him.
British din­ner guest: That was Mrs Doubt­fire.
Amer­i­can din­ner guest: It’s called Pa­pil­lon in the US.
French met­ro­sex­u­al: What?


Noth­ing Like Fuzzy Wits and a Full Blad­der

Man #1: You know what I’m gonna do as soon as that train comes? I’m gonna go in be­tween the cars and take a whiz!
Man #2: Yo, man, you can’t do that! You’ll get in trou­ble! When the train comes just sit your­self down with me and we’ll smoke a joint!

Fuller­ton L plat­form
Chica­go, Illi­nois