Don’t Even Both­er to An­swer Me

Moth­er: Why do peo­ple like you?
Teen daugh­ter: What?!
Moth­er: I mean, why do peo­ple like to talk to you and be your friend? I just don’t get it.

Fair­fax, Cal­i­for­nia

Then We Have a New­found Ad­mi­ra­tion for P.S.- I Love You

Moth­er hold­ing DVD box to two tween kids: No, we can’t get this one, it has too much (whis­pers) anal sex.

Best Buy
Cal­gary
Cana­dia

Cling­ing to the Side Of the Bus With Mag­nets Was Pret­ty Clever, Though

Teen girl: My oth­er friend is, like, sooo dumb, I’m so glad she is­n’t dead!

66 Bus
Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: ker­mi­na­tor

His Screen­name Is BiggStudd4U

Late-20s blonde yup­pie: I love him, and I think he loves me.
Late-20s brunette yup­pie: That’s cool.
Late-20s blonde yup­pie: Yeah, I think his name’s Paul or John or some­thing.

North Beach
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: i love love

A Ques­tion My Dis­ser­ta­tion on The Flint­stones Seeks to Get to the Bot­tom Of

Fe­male grad stu­dent on cell: Yeah, but what would be the so­ci­etal ben­e­fit of hav­ing a bunch of di­nosaurs run­ning around?

SUNY Stony Brook
New York

…And Clear High Heels

Col­lege girl #1: I washed this shirt and it got, like, big­ger!
Col­lege girl #2: Well, at least you can wear it with tights now.
Col­lege girl #1: I know, but I don’t want to look like a slut.
Col­lege girl #2: I feel like I look less slut­ty when I wear my sun­glass­es.

Boul­der, Col­orado

So Many Ques­tions, So Lit­tle Time.

Boy #1: I shot my friend in the foot once.
Boy #2: What! How?
Boy #1: Well, we were re­al­ly high in the woods, and my friend was wear­ing bun­ny slip­pers. He stuck his foot out of a bush and I thought it was a re­al rab­bit… so I shot it!
Boy #2: What the fuck?!

San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: McKen­zie

Is It Wrong That We’re Most Dis­turbed by the Mis­use Of “Iron­ic”?

Drunk girl to stranger: You’re dressed as Juno for Hal­loween? Oh my god, that’s so iron­ic! I’m preg­nant for re­al!

East Lans­ing, Michi­gan

…Does Hall­mark Make a Card Say­ing That?

Girl to friend: Sor­ry about your vagi­na, but I’m sure the dog is okay.

Bar
Col­orado

…I’m Sav­ing That for Mar­riage.

Girl­friend: Ugh, I can’t think about hot dogs or sausages when I eat them. I can’t bare to think what body parts I’m eat­ing.
Boyfriend: Oh, hush. Look at what else you eat.
Girl­friend: I know, but I like you! And I would­n’t eat your arm!

Jer­sey City, New Jer­sey