Archive for September, 2015

The All England Lawn Tennis Club Refused Comment on This Quote

Drunk guy, looking over at girl in black tights: Ohhh maaaaan…
Drunk girl: Her? Really? She looks dirty.
Drunk guy: You mean easy…
Drunk girl, turning to friend sitting down at table with drinks: Seen her over there? The slutty one?
Friend: Slutty?! She looks like she’d shit through a tennis racket onto your chest…
(drunk girl sprays beer all over table).

Leamington Spa, England

Overheard by: Bleep

…Slightly More Stupid

Girl sitting beside guy on laptop: Yo, is that Tyra?
Guy on laptop: It’s a televised City Hall meeting…
Girl sitting beside guy on laptop: Same thing.


Overheard by: Blahh

I Mean Geraniums!

Woman #1: Where did you go to college?
Woman #2: University of Cape Town.
Woman #1: Oh, is that in Virginia?
Woman #2: No, it’s actually in South Africa.
Woman #1: Ohhhh, sorry, I’m bad with geometry.
Woman #2: …
Woman #1: I mean geology!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Actually, that was my mom.

Have a Relatively Explosion-Free Day, Everybody!

TSA guy #1: Why aren’t you patting everyone down?
TSA guy #2: That’s what the machines are for.
TSA guy #1: Do you see the machines working?! Do you see anyone walking through the machines?!
TSA guy #2: Oh. Oops. Oh, well, it happens.

Denver International Airport
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Stephanie

So, No Rules, Just Right?

Bartender: So, what do you do?
Girl: I work at the morgue dissecting babies. Y’know, cutting them to get skin samples.
Bartender: Really?
Girl: Yeah. We call it ‘the baby grinder.‘
Bartender: That’s disgusting.
Girl: What’s really gross is every time I do it I get really hungry.


Olga Does Oregon Was a Disappointing Film

Girl on cell: Did you just call me a jet-setting whore? I’m in Portland, for Pete’s sake!

Overheard by: gwen