Freshman girl, gesturing: I bet it’s thiiiis tiny!
Big black freshman, barreling up stairs: No! I’ll show you!
High School
Skillman, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3 guesses at what they’re talking about.
Archive for September, 2015
Then Ask Him How Much He’ll Pay to Adopt You
Harried mom to adorable eight-year-old girl: You just ask a policeman. Next time you see a policeman you ask him, “Is it illegal for me to sleep in my mommy’s car?”
Toronto
Canadia
Stacy London Was a Challenging Kid to Raise
Woman to husband: Honey, do you think this would be a good fall coat for me?
Five-year-old daughter: It looks like an old-fashioned coat.
Woman: I knew you were gonna say that!
Five-year-old: A young lady like you shouldn’t wear such an old-fashioned coat!
Target
Allen Park, Michigan
On the Dollar Bill.
Bimbette, standing in front of George Washington’s sarcophagus: Hold on! So, where is George Washington?
Mount Vernon, Virginia
Overheard by: Bemused
After You Get Your Rocks Off
Geology teacher: That is dew that is on your glass of joy juice.
Olympia, Washington
We No Longer Want Your Business
Client on phone: That is neither non-intuitive nor non-obvious to a non-elitist.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jeff
Alternative Sculptors Can Be So Demanding
Girl #1: Who was that?
Girl #2, hanging up cell: My boyfriend.
Girl #1: What’d he want?
Girl #2: Tampons.
Tennessee
Overheard by: Jenni
Or Should I Buy a Sock to Stick in It?
Whiny three-year-old: Mom! I’m hungry! I’m huuuungryyyyy!
Mother (calmly, without missing a beat): Well, you should probably shut up.
Target
Wausau, Wisconsin
But Sukkot Is Cool, Too, Because It Sounds So Darned Dirty
Girl: Oh, Yom Kippur. I like it better than the other ones cause it sounds like “Yogi Bear”!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/13/i‑apologize-for-taking-all-of-those-picnic-baskets/
Overheard by: Ian
That Hamster Was Extremely Sooty
Gay dude: No, they’re just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican…
Gay dude: Excuse me? I’m black by insertion.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i don’t like water
