Archive for October, 2015

Or So I’ve Heard.

Guy, as girl­friend walks ahead of him in­to store: Don’t ever get a girl­friend, man. Fuck­ing lu­natic bitch­es! … She can suck a dick, though.

Gas sta­tion
Sacra­men­to, Cal­i­for­nia

Hi­lar­i­ous, But Hor­ri­ble.

Girl, to friend: Yeah, so I was in the mid­dle of fuck­ing him when she called… And I all I could say was, “you’ve got a friend in me…“
Friend: You are a hor­ri­ble per­son.

Mont­clair, New Jer­sey

Over­heard by: CS

Just Like Your Horo­scope Said

Girl to friend drink­ing a so­da on the sub­way: Ooooh, you gonna go to jail. And the girls are gonna feel on your booty.

At­lanta, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: Bradog

Like Clams.

Guy with hair down to waist and death met­al t‑shirt: I re­al­ly en­joy eat­ing an­i­mals that have the abil­i­ty to eat hu­mans.

Over­heard by: hor­ri­fied zoo-en­thu­si­ast