Archive for November, 2015

No Ice Cream for Any­body

Mom: We can’t have ice cream. You just had can­dy at the movie.
Lit­tle girl: Mom, you are such a gut­ter-skank.
Mom, flab­ber­gast­ed: What did you say?! What did you call me?! Where did you hear that term?!
Lit­tle girl: Dad.

Capi­tol Street
Sacra­men­to, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: To­tal Gut­ter­skank

Ask Kevin Ba­con

Con­cerned-look­ing boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
In­dif­fer­ent Lon­don­er girl­friend: I don’t think it’s an is­sue.
Con­cerned-look­ing boyfriend: I dun­no… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
In­dif­fer­ent Lon­don­er girl­friend: Sweet­ie, I told you, I’m Jew­ish, but when it comes to jizz I just don’t care.

Leam­ing­ton Spa

Over­heard by: Bleep

Be­cause You Ate Them?

Man be­side pen with goat: I am not pay­ing that much for that! I am not buy­ing your goat!
Goat­keep­er: No­body’s buy­ing the goat.
Man be­side pen with goat: That’s it, I’m tak­ing the goat!
Goat­keep­er: No­body’s tak­ing the goat, we’re not sell­ing the goat!
Large passer­by: There are no goats in Cameroon.