Girl on cell: And we’re going to watch Twilight and poop later… It’s going to be a good night!
Newark, Delaware
Archive for December, 2015
…But I Haven’t Seen a Starbucks for Miles!
American tourist: It’s so quaint here. All the pretty houses. It’s so romantic.
German host: Uh-huh.
American tourist: What I don’t get, though, is why they built it if they don’t even charge money for people visiting it.
German host: I think the people living here would feel weird about that.
American woman: Wait, people actually live here??
Regensburg
Germany
Or Come To Office Hours and I’ll Show You
80-something religious studies professor: Do you all know what circumcision is? (class stares at him) Okay. Well, if you don’t, don’t ask here. Wait for an appropriate time and ask a friend outside of class.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
When Does She Study?
Guy: Okay, but what’s the biggest problem?
Girl: It’s so annoying! Every time I go into her room she’s masturbating!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/12/guy-does-she-have-a-roommate-for-next-year-yet/
Always a Pleasure to Meet a Lady from the South
Fluffy, bunny-foo-foo white girl to friend after yoga: Bitch, I ain’t eatin’ no biscuits ‘n’ gravy!
Gym
Maryland
Overheard by: amy beth
…Wouldn’t You Agree, Herb?
Wholefood store employee: I don’t know, just when you think the world couldn’t get any worse, suddenly there’s a basil crisis.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2006/07/quotebook-2006/
Overheard by: Raptor
Everybody Thinks I Went to Eastern Europe for Breast Implants
Middle school girl: Normal bras don’t work, because my boobs are, like, triangle-shaped.
Missouri
Obama Is Tony, America Is Maria, And McCain Is Bernardo
Professor: Let’s move on…let’s talk about Puerto Ricans in New York. And crack. And race. Well, let’s start with Obama.
Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts
Overheard by: lovecollege
I Blame the Curry
Drunk man outside curry restaurant, face down on pavement, screaming: I’ve shit myself! I’ve shit myself! I’ve shit myself!
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
The FDA Has Less Influence Every Year
Woman: Do you have mothballs?
CVS employee: (after thinking for a few seconds) Is that a protein bar?
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Nana
