Archive for February, 2016

And Such Small Portions!

50-something woman: Fine by me! How much cocaine can you even buy for $180 bucks? Probably only, like, a gram. (long pause) Ya know, that’s the problem with drugs these days. They are so expensive.

Overheard by: her niece

We Care About Different Bears

Guy with clipboard: Do you have a minute for human rights?
Guy walking by: No. (pause) Wait, did you say humans rights?
Guy with clipboard: Yes.
Guy walking by: Oh, I thought you were one of those crazy environmentalist people.
Guy with clipboard: No, we’re crazy gay rights people.

University of Colorado, Boulder

Overheard by: Violentvixen

The Serpent Doesn’t Even Try Anymore

Perky girl: Oh, that sign said “apples.” And I thought, “oh, apples!“
Less perky friend, after long silence: Okay, then.


Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

How Do You Think Rudolph’s Nose Got So Red?

Drunk blonde: Do you think deer get bored? I mean, all they do is go into the wilderness and play. It’s not like they can go home and say, ‘Hey, Mom deer. Hey, Dad deer! What’s for dinner?’ I would hate to be an animal.
Driver: We are animals! And humans get bored.
Drunk blonde: Yeah, but when we get bored, we can drink and play beer pong.
Driver: How do you know deers don’t play beer pong?

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: BTAN