Dear Skanky Girl– Call Me — Love, Dave

Skanky girl sit­ting at out­door lunch ta­ble: I wan­na have sex on the bleach­ers, I wan­na have sex in the class­rooms, I wan­na have sex in the prin­ci­pal’s of­fice, I wan­na have sex in the teacher’s lounge…

High School
Mis­souri

Over­heard by: Ja­cob

And Stop Shim­my­ing Up That Pole

Mom in bath­room stall: Okay Michael, come on, you have to pee.
Son: Mom, I don’t wan­na play games with you!
Mom: What is wrong with you? At least put your clothes back on if you’re not go­ing to pee!

Tempe, Ari­zona

Un­less You Were Ellen Pom­peo’s Cook

Young topol­o­gist: It would be so cool to be a chef, be­cause, like, what you cook would be in­side peo­ple who eat your food.

Cre­ative Arts High School
St. Paul, Min­neso­ta

But at That Point I’ve Got Noth­ing to Lose!

Hobo to an­oth­er: If that bitch is late, you got­ta pull the dick out.

Wack­er Dri­ve and Lake Street
Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: pulled out

Mom, I Think It’s Time We Had a Lit­tle Talk

Mom to four-year-old girl: Eat your toma­toes, hon­ey. They’re good for your prostate.

Ba­nana Verde Veg­e­tar­i­an Restau­rant
Vi­la Madale­na, São Paulo
Brazil

Over­heard by: menu #2

It’s Like a Mes­sage from God

Daugh­ter: You sure are be­ing stu­pid to­day.
Mom: Duh, I have bird poo in my hair.

Seat­tle, Wash­ing­ton

In T9 for Two

Girl to friends in line for bath­room: That’s go­ing to be the next chap­ter of the book: Boys Who Text But Won’t Have Sex!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/11/dont-blame-me-it-wasnt-my-turn-to-post.html

Over­heard by: Eaves­drop DC

No More Gene Kel­ly Movies for You, Young Man

Mom, walk­ing in the rain: This is not good.
Four-year-old son: It’s nice!
Mom: It is not nice, what the hell?!

Spring­field, Mass­a­chu­setts

You’ll Nev­er Grad­u­ate Cum Laude at This Rate

High school punk #1: “Flu­ids” sounds bet­ter.
High school punk #2: I don’t like flu­ids.
High school punk #1: And that’s why you’re flunk­ing band!

Chica­go, Illi­nois

Over­heard by: SaraG(as in gee, I won­der what THAT means…)

You Just Can’t Get Good Sign-Fetish Porn Do­mes­ti­cal­ly

Short brunette teen girl: Ha­ha.
Tall blonde teen girl: What?
Short brunette teen girl: I have clear­ly been watch­ing too much porn cause I can ac­tu­al­ly read that sign in Span­ish.

Mis­sisauga
On­tario
Cana­dia

Over­heard by: was the sign ad­ver­tis­ing a strip club?