Archive for April, 2016


Ghet­to la­dy on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you bet­ter be at work and not out fuck­ing around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talk­ing about, moth­er­fuck­er! (pause) Bitch, I am mak­ing tacos so I got­ta get some fuck­ing sour cream. (pause) I said I am mak­ing fuck­ing tacos. (pause) Al­right, I love you too.

Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Mis­souri

Over­heard by: We­sAli

And We Can’t Help You

Fraz­zled fe­male cus­tomer: Oh, you have to change my last name on the ac­count, too. I got di­vorced…
Sales as­sis­tant: Con­grat­u­la­tions!

Ver­i­zon Wire­less
Char­lotte, North Car­oli­na

Over­heard by: i just want my phone up­grade

A Con­fu­sion Of­ten Found in Young Big Bad Wolves

Mom: Can you sit there and be mom­my’s good boy just a lit­tle longer? We’re al­most done shop­ping.
Boy: No. I’m not your good boy. I’m not your good boy any­more.
Mom: Oh you aren’t? Then will you be a big boy for me?
Boy: No, I’m not your big boy! I’m not your big boy, and I’m not your good boy any­more.
Mom: Oh re­al­ly, then what are you?
Boy: I’m a grand­ma!

Over­heard by: kari

When Fat Mon­sters Have Lunch

Suit #1: I hon­est­ly think one of our world’s biggest prob­lems right now is corn tor­tillas falling apart.
Suit #2: You’re so right. I can’t be­lieve I nev­er thought about this be­fore.

San An­to­nio, Texas

Over­heard by: Katlin Sehres