Woman #1: He’s 41 and a millionaire, what’s wrong with him?
Woman #2: He lives with his mother.
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: laughing
Archive for June, 2016
I Know Someone Who’s Waking Up with a Donkey Tomorrow Morning
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don’t remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
…As Is Jewish Custom.
20-something girl on cell: She washed all the fruit before putting it into the bowl. (pause) We’re gonna need a medium-sized male stripper to go along with it, also.
NJ Transit
New Jersey
…She Put Two Drinks Up There?
Sorority girl to another, sitting in booth: Girl, I was double-fisted all night long last night!
Gay dude #1, quite loudly, to gay dude #2: Oh my god! That is so nasty! Who on earth would ever say something like that out in public! I wouldn’t want anyone to know that anyone could do anything like that to me, let alone enjoy it! Nasty bitches!
Gay dude #2 to gay dude #1, very quietly: Um, I think she meant she had a drink in both hands, you idiot.
Gay dude #1: Oh.
Chinese Restaurant
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: j‑we
They Proceeded to Link Arms and Skip Off Into the Sunset
Obnoxious panhandler: Spare change if you give a shit! Spare change if you give a shit!
Sassy gay man walking by: I don’t.
Obnoxious panhandler: Me neither!
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: RP
But It Turned Out to Be Just a Tube Sock
Chick #1: What took so long?
Chick #2: We were so close to getting the squirrel, you have no idea…
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/30/no-squirrel-no-cookie/
Pearls Of Wisdom from How to Raise a Serial Killer
Rich mother: Well, you’ll just have to hold it! You can’t go to the bathroom around here! They are positively disgusting, you’ll die!
Little child, crying: Please, mommy, I need to go!
Rich mother: Don’t you value your life?
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Alex Ello
That Is So Like Her
Grad student: So, she got a secondary infection in her snatch?
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Just the Ones That Don’t Fly, Kiddo
Five-year-old to grandma: You’re just jealous cuz you don’t like monkeys.
Target
Virginia
Overheard by: JH
I’m at the Far End Of the Gay Continuum
Obviously gay guy: I mean, I’m not surprised at all that people think I’m gay. I’ve got this high voice, I’m bitchy, and I like to wear dresses.
Friend: (nods in approval)
Dining Hall
UNC Chapel Hill
