No, but at the Rate They Inbreed, It Will Be

Teen girl #1: Oh my gosh, look — Catholic school kids!
Teen girl #2: Erica! Don’t say that!
Teen girl #1: What? … Is that racist?

Franklin Institute
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: not catholic

The Perils Of Undercooked Turducken

Guy on cell: And I was crouched down lookin’ up at her, and all of a sudden this teal duck shot out her ass! Pass me them field peas.

Louisiana

Overheard by: 2 tables over

Then She Left for Parts Unknown

Girl: My mom said “Just don’t pass out in the port-a-potty.”

Baltimore, Maryland

He Really Knew How to Make Me Feel at Home

Student: He called me a bitch. Only my mom calls me a bitch.

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/yeah-were-close.html

I Swear I Was Aiming for the Bed.

Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html

Overheard by: hah!

It Has the Jonas Brothers’ Faces on It

Little boy: Look! An end-of-the world watch!

Smith’s Marketplace
Salt Lake City, Utah

We Can Dispense with Talking

Frat boy #1: Dude, if I buy anal lube can I call you ‘Baby’?
Frat boy #2: No… You’ve bought anal lubricant before, right?
Frat boy #1: Yeah.
Frat boy #2: Yeah, that’s what I’m saying — we’re experienced.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/01/breaks-broke.html

Overheard by: the ear

If Men Had to Wear Thongs.

Man in fancy shirt: Oh, my butt’s been hurting.
Girlfriend: Why does it hurt?
Man in fancy shirt: There’s been something pokin’ me all day.

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Brilicia

APB: Shoot on Sight

Freshman ho #1: But… Are you, like, good at drunk driving?
Freshman ho #2: Oh, yeah… I’m, like, sooo good! I’ve been drunk driving, like, since I got my license.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/april-is-cruelest-month.html

Overheard by: newm

By the Way, Sorry about Scaring Your Daughter Like That

Bathroom-bound tech woman: Are you following me? Not that many people follow me at my age.
Tech guy: No. I’m more of the ‘call-is-coming-from-inside-the-house’ kind of guy.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: 2catchapredator