Archive for November, 2016

See– Blood! Ha­ha! I Win!

Kid stop­ping to look at ob­ject on the ground: Look, glass!
Fa­ther: That’s a lol­ly.
Kid: No, it’s glass!
Fa­ther: It is­n’t glass, it’s a lol­ly.
(kid picks up ob­ject and puts it in his mouth)
Kid: No, it’s glass.

Mel­bourne
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Nev­er found out what it was.

Just Use the Oth­er End

Drunk het­ero: You’re gay, he’s gay, so what’s the prob­lem?
Drunk queer: He just threw up all over him­self.
Drunk het­ero: You take what you can get.

The White Front Bar
Philips­burg, Mon­tana

Like Your Fa­ther Needs More En­cour­age­ment to Be Flat­u­lent

Lit­tle boy: Mom­my! I want to get my dad­dy this card!
Moth­er: But hon­ey, you don’t know what that means.
Lit­tle boy: Yes, I do! I do!
Moth­er: Okay, what does it mean?
Lit­tle boy: Pull my fin­ger. It means… pull my fin­ger! That’s what you do, right? You pull the mon­key’s fin­ger.
Moth­er: Um… Hon­ey, you don’t know what that means. Here, why don’t you give Dad­dy this oth­er card in­stead?
Lit­tle boy, cry­ing: No! I do know what it means. I want to get my dad­dy this card! He would like it!
Moth­er, sigh­ing: Okay, fine… But you don’t know what it means.
Lit­tle boy, hap­pi­ly: My dad­dy is re­al­ly go­ing to like this card! I just know it!

Fred Mey­er
Spring­field, Ore­gon