Old lady #1: … And now he’s crippled!
Old lady #2: Well, of course he is. That’s what God does to people who get divorced.
Old lady #1: That’s true.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Voudou
Archive for January, 2017
We Can’t Discuss Literature, But the Sex Is Fantastic
Woman #1: Do you think that he’s kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I’ve realized that age really doesn’t matter. I’m dating a baby right now.
Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
That’s the Whole Point of That Nomenclature, Isn’t It?
Chick: Hey, congratulations! I heard you was gonna be a father.
Guy: Yeah, she’s due in, like, three months.
Chick: Donna is gonna be so jealous. She wanted to be your baby-mama.
Guy: She still can be — I been waitin’ on that girl forever.
Green Line E train
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: vangundy
Um, Because I Just Spent a Summer with the Peace Corps Doing That?
Pretty girl to boy: How is bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog not on your to-do list?
Fairfield High School
Fairfield, Connecticut
Literacy Campaigns Have Come a Long Way Since Reading Rainbow
Girl, looking at books: I love the library! It’s like natural Adderall.
Scranton, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: too old for this
Um, the One Where They Talk?
Teen girl #1: Do you think they have those other elephants here? You know, the old hairy ones?
Teen girl #2: Mammoths? No, I don’t think they do. Aren’t they extinct?
Teen girl #1: No, I’m pretty sure they have them at the Werribee zoo. Well, they were on that cartoon, with all the ice.
Zoo
Australia
Overheard by: Brydee
I Thought That Smell Was the Complimentary Meal
Delta flight attendant, upon arrival, to deplaning passengers: Last one out’s a rotten egg!
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Doug Harris
Only If You Go to School in Kansas
Frat boy reading section titles: “Self-help, cooking, fiction.” …is fiction science?
Barnes & Noble
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: almost threw a book at him
Perhaps the Ham-Reward-System Is Not the Best Studying Strategy
Chick: Today sucks. I failed my math test and I smell like meat products.
Arizona
Luckily, I Was There to Apply Blush on Her While They Were Removing Her Lung
Woman on cell: I totally didn’t recognize her. Yeah, so I guess she thinks she can get away with not doing her hair and make-up before surgery.
Office Depot
Fort Worth, Texas
