Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money… (whispering) Ghost money!
Graveyard
Cork
Ireland
Archive for February, 2017
Who Couldn’t?!
Guy: If you could put a moose and en elk in a wind tunnel, could you work out which one generates more lift better if they were the right way up or upside down?
London
England
Overheard by: Bemused
You’ll Note Your TAs Have Already Done So
Professor: We’ll talk later in the semester about how suicide will be a better choice. Now, I don’t want anyone committing suicide before the first exam, but it would be less for me to grade, so go ahead.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Were We Ever?
Female student #1: You sure you want me to feed you this banana?
Female student #2: Get on with it, will you?
Female student #1: This thing’s pretty big. I wouldn’t want to choke you.
Female student #2: Don’t worry about it. I’ve had much bigger.
Youngish professor: (raises eyebrows)
Female student #2: You think I’m kidding? I’ve had some pretty big ones. Think you can give me a bigger one?
Youngish professor (blushing): Um, possibly.
Female student #2: Well, I’d like to see that.
Female student #3: Um, are we still talking about bananas here?
Classroom
UCSC, California
The Cherry Poppin’ Daddies Are on Tour Again
Teacher, on first day of school: So, did anything particularly exciting happen during your vacation?
Loud teenage girl at back of room: I lost my virginity… three times!
Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia
… And My Boogie Sense Is Tingling
Dancing lady, about soca music: Do you like this music?
Five-year-old boy: No, I don’t like music… except Spider-Man music.
Dancing lady: So, you don’t dance?
Five-year-old boy: No… I only dance when I’m naked.
Harbourfront, Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Pandora
…Unlike Your Tasseled Loafers.
Hobo: You ever model?
Cute Asian guy: Uh, no.
Hobo: You should think about it. You have nice cheekbones. But definitely go with an agency.
Cute Asian guy: Okay. (awkward pause)
Hobo: By the way, this is man-to-man. This isn’t no gay shit!
Chicago, Illinois
Birthday Surprise!
Mom to little boy picking up Raid: No poisonous chemicals for you, sweetie. Not today, at least…
Target
New Jersey
I’m Just Psyched to Have the Opportunity to Mock It
Tween #1, excitedly: Oh my god! Look, it’s High School Musical stuff!
Tween #2: I hate High School Musical.
Tween #1: Oh, well… so do I!
Hickory Hollow Mall
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: i hate it too
Time Gives White People the Illusion They Understand Black People
Professor talking about the Canterbury tales: So the friar has this gold pin he wears, he wears it under his neck to keep his hood closed … It’s bling!
(class laughs)
Professor: I never want to hear anyone say I’m not up on the times. They had this article in Time magazine, it was an interview with a rapper, the guy’s name was “fifty cents.”
(class laughs)
Professor: But I’m cool, and I know that it’s not “fifty cents,” it’s “fiddy.”
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
