Girl: Jazmin*, what was you doing in the bathroom?
Jazmin: Oh, you know…
Boy across the hall: She was taking a dump!
Jazmin: Yup! That’s what we do all day, every day.
Public High School
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: andromeda
Archive for April, 2017
… Are You?
Old man #1: Oh my god! You’re still alive?!
Old man #2: Well, yeah, ya old fuck!
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wendy GK
Je…zeus?
20-something American girl, loudly and excitedly, pointing at statue: Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! There’s a statue of Jesus! They’ve got a statue of Jesus Christ! Ohmigod!
Unimpressed 20-something Greek girl: That’s a statue of Zeus. (slight pause) You fucking retard.
National Archaeological Museum
Athens
Greece
Overheard by: Bleep
For the Last Time, Mr. Libby Is a Person
Teenage girl #1: Wait. Are you the boy with the scooter?
Boy with no visible scooter: Yes.
Teenage girl #1: Everyone be talkin’ ’bout you! Boy, you’re famous!
Teenage girl #2, excitedly: Wow! The boy with the scooter!
Teenage girl #3: Is it electric?
Boy and other girls: No!
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Sandra
Then You’ll Hate Gay-Porn Method Acting
Chick: I don’t like processes… and anal things.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/more-more-more.html
Overheard by: twombly
And Maybe Zack Efron Will Win an Academy Award
Seven-year-old child: How do they get sharks into Sea World?
Tutor: I don’t know, maybe they use nets.
Seven-year-old child: Maybe a wizard waves a wand and lifts them into the tanks.
Tutor: Maybe.
Gold Coast
Australia
What Have Mom and Dad Been Telling You, Anyway?
Girl, watching painting: That’s a girl, she’s got those things. (points to nipples)
Boy: It’s a boy! Grown-up boys have those, too. I’ve seen them.
Girl: It’s a girl!
Boy: No, boys have them too; they just don’t do as much. The girls’ milk, the boys’ don’t.
Art Gallery
Portland, Oregon
And I’m Having Your Baby
Student: I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
Teacher: What’s the bad news? That you didn’t do your homework?
Student: No, that’s the good news. The bad news is that I love you.
Arcadia, California
Perilously Close to Being a Lovely Haiku.
7‑year old kid #1: It’s raining.
7‑year old kid #2: The hurricanes are upon us, bitch!
7‑year old kid #1, after long pause: It’s raining.
New Jersey
Overheard by: it was raining
And I Puked until My Stomach Was Empty
10-year-old: Hey, I think I’m swimming extra good tonight!
Friend: Yeah? Why is that?
10-year-old: I think it’s because we just got back from Red Lobster.
Waterford, Michigan
Overheard by: Gary Lewis
