Hipster guy, earnestly: Yeah, you’ll love her; her face is really funny!
16th & Market
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Archive for April, 2017
I’m Just a Toxic Spill Waiting to Happen
Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!
Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
…Guess That Explains Your Husky Voice.
Drunk American girl: Where are you from?
English guy: I’m Cornish.
Drunk American girl: Oh, is that like from cornland?
Pub
Dublin
Ireland
Overheard by: Embarrassed American
Were His Teeth In or Out?
Young woman on cell: I kiss my grandpa on the mouth, have I made out with him?
Palo Alto, California
Nature: 2 Nurture: 0
Teen Boy Scout (after narrowly avoiding tripping): And that’s why I’m so good at swing dancing. I have hips like an angel.
Amtrack
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Duckie
Which Most People Only Try a Couple of Times in College
Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They’re in your uterus!
Girl #2: Yeah, it’s so dumb. Like, that’s not even possible unless you swallowed a penis…or ate a baby.
Connecticut
The Sort Of Thing That Keeps Us in Business
Guy, telling girl how to inspect screws in a table: Reach up, right up in there…
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your finger?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy, after long pause: You know, if anyone overheard this conversation, it would sound pretty bad.
Security Park
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Cool Breeze
Wide Chicks Should Be Another Big Hit for the Wayans Brothers
Dude: And then we had to carry Elizabeth *three blocks* back to my place because she was too wide to fit in the car.
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Thanks, Gossip Girl!
Woman to friends: Who would have know that shaving my pubes wouldn’t get rid of pubic lice?
Chipotle
Towson, Maryland
Not Today, Though– I’ve Got Leg Cramps
Hobo: Hey baby, you ever had the back a yo’ knee fucked?
Girl in line at the show: Once…it was okay, I guess.
Hobo: Shitdamn girl, you’re a freak!
Ybor
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Gotta try that
