Archive for April, 2017

I’m Just a Tox­ic Spill Wait­ing to Hap­pen

Goth girl, to friend look­ing at mil­i­tary jack­ets: You can get those a lot cheap­er at good­will, dude.
Over­weight friend: Not in my size! When fat peo­ple die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be giv­en to good­will!

Star­fest Sci-Fi Con­ven­tion
Den­ver, Col­orado

…Guess That Ex­plains Your Husky Voice.

Drunk Amer­i­can girl: Where are you from?
Eng­lish guy: I’m Cor­nish.
Drunk Amer­i­can girl: Oh, is that like from corn­land?

Pub
Dublin
Ire­land

Over­heard by: Em­bar­rassed Amer­i­can


The Sort Of Thing That Keeps Us in Busi­ness

Guy, telling girl how to in­spect screws in a ta­ble: Reach up, right up in there…
Girl: Right here?
Guy: Yeah, can you feel it?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy: Okay, now can you play around with it with your fin­ger?
Girl: Uh-huh…
Guy, af­ter long pause: You know, if any­one over­heard this con­ver­sa­tion, it would sound pret­ty bad.

Se­cu­ri­ty Park
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land

Over­heard by: Cool Breeze