Archive for May, 2017

North Amer­i­cans Should Feel Grate­ful for Their Rel­a­tive­ly Un­trou­bled His­to­ry

Girl #1: Oh, are you talk­ing about the skin­ny lit­tle In­di­an guy?
Girl #2: He’s not In­di­an, he’s Burmese.
Girl #1: Huh? You’re talk­ing about the skin­ny In­di­an guy, right?
Girl #2: Yes, but he’s not In­di­an. He’s Burmese. Like from Bur­ma.
Girl #1: Well, who cares? In­di­an and Burmese are the same thing! That’s like say­ing that Cana­di­ans and Amer­i­cans are dif­fer­ent! That’s BS! They’re not. They’re the same thing, ex­cept that Cana­di­ans are in­fe­ri­or be­cause they play hock­ey.

Kuala Lumpur

…At Least Pre­tend to Be Ashamed

Slut­ty girl: You’ll nev­er know what I got, big boy.
Guy: I know what you got, cum stains and a smile.

Phoenix, Ari­zona

Over­heard by: #Truth

…Not That You’re Mis­tak­en

Small boy, look­ing out of train win­dow: Look mum­my! Look! All the fields are fucked!
Sud­den­ly flus­tered posh moth­er: Caleb! The word is “flood­ed.” Flood­ed!

Train through the Shires

Over­heard by: Bleep