Normal-looking guy, watching victory speech: Why does everybody look so cold? It’s not that cold near Seattle.
Pretty lady, confused: Seattle?
Normal-looking guy: Yeah, they’re in Washington, right?
San Diego, California
Archive for August, 2017
But With Slightly Less Dancing
Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
…Through Binoculars.
Music History prof taking roll: Jane Smith?
Jane: Here.
Prof: Oh, there you are. I’m just used to seeing you from behind.
Hartford, Connecticut
Steve Miller: “Same Here.”
Girl: How do you choose a good peach?
Guy: I go with whichever would make the prettiest vagina. Seems to work pretty well.
Produce Market
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Dr. Banana Grabber
Well I Love the Netting.
Woman to son: That’s the dress Larry Bird Johnson wore to the inauguration.
First Ladies Exhibit, Smithsonian
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dave White
And I Know What “Autoeroticism” Means
Four-year-old in shopping cart: Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda! (repeated over and over)
Mom: Stop that! Stop saying that!
Four-year-old: (continues)
Mom: You don’t even know what that means! Just because you don’t know what something means doesn’t mean you can just repeat it like that. (turns to man behind her in line) I don’t know where he gets this stuff.
Four-year-old: I heard it from you, crazy!
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Lindsay
You Don’t Know What They’re Made Of ’til They Get in Hot Water
Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?
Wyoming
That Way There Are Always People around to Help Me with the Big Words
Drunk guy: Well, I’m, like, more of a social reader, you know?
Columbus, Ohio
I’m Gonna Pull-Start Him Like a Lawnmower
Hot Asian chick #1: The passion party was so fun — you guys should’ve gone.
Hot Asian chick #2: Oh my god! I wish I would’ve known about it. Did they have the Jack Rabbit?
Hot Asian chick #3: Yeah — and, like, oils and stuff?
Hot Asian chick #2: Forget that! Did they have anal beads?! [Sighs and glances over at her boyfriend] Our sex life has really gotten boring…
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: looking for the cameras
With His Big Blue Ox
Drunk girl: St. Patrick’s day is celebrating St. Patrick…who drove all the rats out of Germany.
University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: matt
