Archive for August, 2017

Steve Miller: “Same Here.”

Girl: How do you choose a good peach?
Guy: I go with whichever would make the prettiest vagina. Seems to work pretty well.

Produce Market
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Banana Grabber

And I Know What “Autoeroticism” Means

Four-year-old in shopping cart: Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda! (repeated over and over)
Mom: Stop that! Stop saying that!
Four-year-old: (continues)
Mom: You don’t even know what that means! Just because you don’t know what something means doesn’t mean you can just repeat it like that. (turns to man behind her in line) I don’t know where he gets this stuff.
Four-year-old: I heard it from you, crazy!

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Lindsay

I’m Gonna Pull-Start Him Like a Lawnmower

Hot Asian chick #1: The passion party was so fun — you guys should’ve gone.
Hot Asian chick #2: Oh my god! I wish I would’ve known about it. Did they have the Jack Rabbit?
Hot Asian chick #3: Yeah — and, like, oils and stuff?
Hot Asian chick #2: Forget that! Did they have anal beads?! [Sighs and glances over at her boyfriend] Our sex life has really gotten boring…

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: looking for the cameras