Middle-aged woman, to older woman: Those were some really good drugs!
Dunkin’ Donuts
University of Rhode Island
Archive for September, 2017
Give or Take
Confused customer: So, how much is this 30-cent gum?
Employee: Um, 25 cents.
http://overheardatthemecca.blogspot.com/
And You Often Get Out Of Limos with No Underwear on
Guy #1: I think you’d make a great Paris Hilton.
Guy #2: I do have a very womanly figure.
Guy #1: And you’re a whore.
Chicago, Illinois
And I Wouldn’t Stop and Smell the Roses, Either.
Old woman: It’s like flowers were spitting out of my ass, so don’t go telling me how bright and shiny your (makes finger quotes) “effing” life is!
Small Town
Nebraska
Might As Well Embrace It — You’re Stuck with It
Hoochie on cell: Yep, I have herpes. Isn’t it awesome?!
University of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois
Even the Gardeners Wear Suits in Connecticut
Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don’t care what you think, if you don’t think I’m doing a good job, don’t fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don’t care, I’m doing more important things right now! (pause) I’m buying plant food!
CVS
Connecticut
Overheard by: Guy
Just a Silent High Five
Hot young suit #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Hot young suit #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her — same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I’m not looking for praise.
Theatre
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Rosebyanothername
Or When Tyra Had the Realness of Her Breasts Verified
Girl #1: Tyra will never be as good as Oprah. The Tyra show just doesn’t have the credibility that the Oprah show has.
Girl #2: Well, Tyra does serious shows sometimes; like when Hilary Duff is on.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Like an Open Spirit and Three Hits of Acid
Teacher: What you get from Beatlerama depends on what you bring to it.
Science class
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: mollydear
I’d Ejaculate Prematurely Just to Get out of Her
Dude #1: I was gonna ask her to be my girlfriend.
Dude #2: Why didn’t you?
Dude #1: I realized I fucking hate her.
Daly City, California
