Archive for November, 2017

Couldn’t She Just Tweet Them?

Guy in pub: Yeah she was pretty angry. She was wandering naked around the house trying to find an alarm clock so she could get up at 4.00am to call the birds cunts. Apparently they’ve been waking her up by singing at 4.30am so she figured she’d fuck them up by shouting at them half an hour before that. Got to love the drunken logic.

Leamington Spa England

Overheard by: Bleep

Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Ocala, Florida