English teacher, on how language features are used in advertisements: So in the end, this advertisement is making all the single women of the world think “hello? I wanna be like the yoghurt!”
English Class
Christchurch
New Zealand
Archive for January, 2018
From the New FBI Thriller Silence Of the Shams
Girl #1: You can’t just not smell his pillow.
Girl #2: I know, right? Just smell as hard as you can!
Macalester College
St Paul, Minnesota
Overheard by: isa
Christmas Has Come Early When We Get “Boobs” and “Mound” in the Same Quote.
Chesty girl, about failing pitcher: I’ve offered to go to the mound and show him my boobs. I just don’t know what else I can do to support this team.
Comerica Park
Detroit, Michigan
Ever Watch Any Of Bush’s Speeches?
Four-year-old: Mommy, that girl speaks English!
Mother: Yes, she does.
Four-year-old: But nobody here speaks English. Does she really speak English?
Mother: Of course she speaks English! She’s white!
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/06/canadians-in-ecuador.html
Overheard by: katie
By the End Of This Class, You’ll Be Able to Open Them With Your Penis
Peer-taught health class leader: Do not open condoms with a knife.
Eugene, Oregon
Overheard by: nyssa
She Didn’t Try Very Hard
Eurotrash: Can we sit outside? We want to smoke.
Hostess: Sorry, the patio just closed.
Eurotrash: If I tell you you’re pretty, would you let us sit outside?
Hostess: I can’t let you do that, sir.
Eurotrash: You are very pretty.
Hostess: I’ll see what I can do.
Restaurant
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: flossy.
You’re Lucky We’re Letting You Breathe Heavily
Little boy: I don’t wanna walk any more.
Father: No talking when we’re on vacation!
Michigan Avenue and East Hubbard
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Thad
Called Him Jonah
Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald’s hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!
McDonald’s
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
…As One Is Wont to Do.
Middle-aged man, nonchalantly: I bought the dogs a penis…
Aspen, Colorado
Lucille Ball: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Mom: But then we’ll have the baby.
Daughter: But I could play for the baby.
Mom: If you play for the baby, the baby will start crying.
Ferrell Middle School
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: ISPgypsy
