Archive for January, 2018


Eng­lish teacher, on how lan­guage fea­tures are used in ad­ver­tise­ments: So in the end, this ad­ver­tise­ment is mak­ing all the sin­gle women of the world think “hel­lo? I wan­na be like the yo­ghurt!”

Eng­lish Class
New Zealand

She Did­n’t Try Very Hard

Eu­ro­trash: Can we sit out­side? We want to smoke.
Host­ess: Sor­ry, the pa­tio just closed.
Eu­ro­trash: If I tell you you’re pret­ty, would you let us sit out­side?
Host­ess: I can’t let you do that, sir.
Eu­ro­trash: You are very pret­ty.
Host­ess: I’ll see what I can do.

Toron­to, On­tario

Over­heard by: flossy.

Mir­ror, Mir­ror on the Hill/ Who’s the Slut­ti­est at McGill?

Girl #1: You are def­i­nite­ly slut­ti­er than I am!
Girl #2: No way. You are!
Girl #1: You are sleep­ing with two guys!
Girl #2: You sleep with guys and don’t call them back…ever.
Girl #1: Is that slut­ty?–800-big-slut/

Over­heard by: cy­bertheque

…As One Is Wont to Do.

Mid­dle-aged man, non­cha­lant­ly: I bought the dogs a pe­nis…

As­pen, Col­orado