Archive for March, 2018

So Ba­si­cal­ly All Your Prob­lems Are in Your Head?

Girl on cell: My life to­tal­ly sucks right now. I went to an in­tel­lec­tu­al con­fer­ence and peo­ple were say­ing smart things and I was ask­ing my­self, ‘Why can?t I say things like that?!’ And I?ve for­got­ten all es­say-writ­ing skills I learned in high school! Ugh, I am, like, to­tal­ly ESL right now. Like, what am I do­ing with my life?! I’m not get­ting in­to law school, I’m not go­ing to get a po­si­tion at the UN… Ugh! I might as well get mar­ried to a rich Ara­bi­an prince!‑3/

Over­heard by:

Let’s Just Say I Felt the Earth Move

Queer #1: I bruised my pelvis once dur­ing sex. It was the last time I had sex with a woman. Re­mem­ber?
Queer #2: Right.
Queer #3: I don’t know this sto­ry.
Queer #1: Well, to be more ex­act, I woke up to hav­ing sex with a woman. Or, rather, I re­gained con­scious­ness to dis­cov­er a woman fuck­ing me. That was the same day as the bull­doz­er.
Queer #2: You don’t have to say any­thing else for this to be a per­fect sto­ry.
Queer #3: Wait… A bull­doz­er?

Wine bar
Bal­ti­more, Mary­land