Archive for May, 2018

He Asked Me on a Date!

Guy: I de­cid­ed I would do a lit­tle so­cial ex­per­i­ment. So I went to the gas sta­tion and bought a choco­late muf­fin and sat down out­side the door. Then this guy passed me, so I shoved the muf­fin in my mouth and start­ed singing “What if God Was One of Us,” with lit­tle pieces of the muf­fin falling out of my mouth. It was great.

Over­heard by: julie

Just As Long As It’s Hot, Steamy Cof­fee, Okay?

20-some­thing girl, skip­ping over to ex­pen­sive jew­el­ery shop win­dow: Ooooh! Spark­ly things!
20-some­thing guy: Fuck.
20-some­thing girl, eyes shin­ing with de­light: Oh… Look at the rings… They’re beau­ti­ful! (sighs)
20-some­thing guy: No.
20-some­thing girl: Look at that one! It’s cheap!
20-some­thing guy: It’s £450!
20-some­thing girl: You just got paid! Oh, look! That one’s even pret­ti­er and spark­li­er!
20-some­thing guy: Grant­ed… But there’s al­so no price tag… So it’s prob­a­bly gonna be £1,000 at least.
20-some­thing girl, re­signed­ly: Yeah. (perks up) But you’re my friend… (plead­ing voice) Buy me a ring… Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssse!
20-some­thing guy: Look, for a £1,000 ring I’m go­ing to ex­pect at least a cou­ple of shags.
20-some­thing girl: True. Oh, well. Let’s go get cof­fee. (skips off)

Burling­ton Ar­cade

Over­heard by: Bleep