Pregnant, tattooed hipster: This is killing me. How can I go without ink for nine months?
Tattooed hipster friend: Oh, I know.
Nevada
Archive for May, 2018
Next Time, Do It in Your Coy, Playful Way!
Angry Jersey girl on cell: No, you hung up on me in your manic, crazy way.
Church Tag Sale
New Jersey
Three, but They Were Eaten by Dinosaurs
Teen girl: So, like, did Adam and Eve have children?
Columbia, Tennessee
Just When You Thought Being in the Military Was Different from Any Other Job…
Soldier #1: What day is it?
Soldier #2: Does it matter?
Soldier #1: No, I guess not.
Afghanistan
And Don’t Even Get Me Started on Bob Barker
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
He Asked Me on a Date!
Guy: I decided I would do a little social experiment. So I went to the gas station and bought a chocolate muffin and sat down outside the door. Then this guy passed me, so I shoved the muffin in my mouth and started singing “What if God Was One of Us,” with little pieces of the muffin falling out of my mouth. It was great.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/299433048/call-it-a-social-experiment-if-that-makes-you-feel-better.html
Overheard by: julie
And Serve Beef
Frat boy: Indian food can’t be any good! I mean, if it was, they’d have chain restaurants!
Washington, DC
In the Sense That It’s Propping Up My Coffee Table
DJ: And we’ll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That’s my movie! That’s my movie!
Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Becca
Tonight’s Movie: I Don’t Know How She Pretends to Do It
Woman on cell: I could pretend to take care of some kids.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic
Just As Long As It’s Hot, Steamy Coffee, Okay?
20-something girl, skipping over to expensive jewelery shop window: Ooooh! Sparkly things!
20-something guy: Fuck.
20-something girl, eyes shining with delight: Oh… Look at the rings… They’re beautiful! (sighs)
20-something guy: No.
20-something girl: Look at that one! It’s cheap!
20-something guy: It’s £450!
20-something girl: You just got paid! Oh, look! That one’s even prettier and sparklier!
20-something guy: Granted… But there’s also no price tag… So it’s probably gonna be £1,000 at least.
20-something girl, resignedly: Yeah. (perks up) But you’re my friend… (pleading voice) Buy me a ring… Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssse!
20-something guy: Look, for a £1,000 ring I’m going to expect at least a couple of shags.
20-something girl: True. Oh, well. Let’s go get coffee. (skips off)
Burlington Arcade
London
England
Overheard by: Bleep
