Archive for October, 2018

…I Al­lowed the Holy Spir­it In­to My Life.

Dis­grun­tled fresh­man girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so… Ugh!
Dis­grun­tled fresh­man girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sopho­more guy, in­ter­rupt­ing: Oh, me and him? We’re like porn bud­dies!
(awk­ward si­lence from girls)
Rude sopho­more guy: What? That was like, be­fore.


Over­heard by: hap­pened to be eat­ing lunch

Is That a Lip-Lin­er and EpiPen in One?

Hot­tie: Here ya go — put this in your man-purse for me, please.
In­die boyfriend, in­dig­nant­ly: It’s not a man-purse! It’s a med­ical evac bag!
Hot­tie: Okay. You got any ban­dages or ster­ile al­co­hol in there?
In­die boyfriend: … No.
Hot­tie: Yeah, right — it’s a man-purse. [Guy sul­len­ly puts item in bag.]

Tar­get, Saint Matthews
Louisville, Ken­tucky

I Sure Hope So!

Loud man in fa­tigues: Wow! Y’all look like Char­lie’s An­gels. I did­n’t re­al­ize how beau­ti­ful you are.
Girl #1: Oh, thanks.
Loud man in fa­tigues: Wow! You have beau­ti­ful feet! Can I suck a toe-jam?
Girl #1: Um­mm, no, thank you.
Girl #2, whis­per­ing: What’s a toe-jam? Is it some­thing re­al­ly gross and in­ap­pro­pri­ate?

Wash­ing­ton, DC

She Can En­light­en Me Any­time!

Asian Vi­su­al Stud­ies pro­fes­sor: Why is the lo­tus flower sig­nif­i­cant in Bud­dhist art? The lo­tus comes from this mud­dy, icky swamp wa­ter, and then it pops up and blooms re­al­ly big and it’s just beau­ti­ful, and you can’t be­lieve some­thing so beau­ti­ful could have come from this ug­ly place — it’s sort of like Liv Tyler, ac­tu­al­ly.

San­ta Cruz, Cal­i­for­nia