Mormon-looking hick teen: (holds up shirt and looks at his mother)
Hick mom: Gawd, no! That is Satan’s shirt!
Wilmington, North Carolina
Overheard by: Amy
Archive for November, 2018
Yeah, We Quit at Least Once a Day
Girl #1: Lately it feels like I’m on fire when I have sex.
Girl #2: That’s what happened when I had gonorrhea.
Guy at next table: Wow. Those girls were pretty hot before I heard that… I have to stop eavesdropping.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/15/or-maybe-keep-eavesdropping/
Tonight on Keeping Up With the Judashians
Teenybopper #1: So I haven’t had my period in like six weeks!
Teenybopper #2: Girl, that means you must be pregnant!
Teenybopper #1: No, cuz then I’d have to be, like, a female Jesus!
Boston, Massachusetts
How I Invented The Exorcist Lawn Sprinkler
Chick: … So I start projectile vomiting in my car, and after I filled up the bag, I just said, ‘Fuck it’ and started barfing on the passenger seat.
Holé Molé
Long Beach, California
I Don’ Even Wanna Think About What They’re Not Being Taught in History Class
Teen girl, to friend: I’m tired of being stuck with a bunch of 12-year-olds who think Knight Rider and Batman are the same thing!
Steamboat Springs, Colorado
So I Bought This Tape Recorder
Indian entrepreneur: I am tired of listening to people talking. I want to listen to me talking.
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/05/internal-dialogue.html
Overheard by: rich
He Caught Me and Said, “I Got You, Babe.”
Random guy: I came out of the womb at Sonny’s Bar-BQ!
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: heidi
Shark: Hello, Sailors!
Dude: Hey, let’s go find a shark and piss on it!
Navy Pier
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Sean
I Still Hate to Buy Her a Two-Year Planner, Though
Guy on one side of the store: So how’s your friend who has cancer?
Woman in queue, thirty feet away: Oh, she’s getting better!
Guy: Really?
Woman: Yeah, they put her on this herbal diet and now she’s getting better.
Guy: Wow.
Woman: Yeah, it’s amazing.
Guy: So what sort of cancer is it?
Woman: I’m not sure…
Guy: Is it terminus cancer?
Woman: Yeah, I think that’s it.
Guy: Terminus cancer, yeah?
Woman: Yeah, yeah, but she’s getting better.
London
England
Overheard by: Irongate
Doctor: Works Every Time
Cheerleader: So, I had this problem with peeing and I visited a doctor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheerleader: You can’t imagine… He wanted to see the effect, so I had to pee in front of him while he’s watching me doing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that happened to me.
Classroom, Montana State University
Bozeman, Montana
Overheard by: Awesome Naveed
