Archive for November, 2018

Doc­tor: Works Every Time

Cheer­leader: So, I had this prob­lem with pee­ing and I vis­it­ed a doc­tor.
Friend: What did he say?
Cheer­leader: You can’t imag­ine… He want­ed to see the ef­fect, so I had to pee in front of him while he’s watch­ing me do­ing it!
Friend: Wow. I would freak out if that hap­pened to me.

Class­room, Mon­tana State Uni­ver­si­ty
Boze­man, Mon­tana

Over­heard by: Awe­some Naveed

Hm­mm… Ulysses. That Sounds Good.

Soros­ti­tute #1: Yeah, the hand­book says I can ei­ther take two for­eign lan­guage class­es or two lit­er­a­ture class­es… So, like, I took the lit­er­a­ture class­es be­cause, like, at least I can read that, y’­know?
Soros­ti­tute #2: So true…

Pat­ter­son School of Ac­coun­tan­cy, Uni­ver­si­ty of Mis­sis­sip­pi
Uni­ver­si­ty, Mis­sis­sip­pi

And Why Do I Con­tin­ue to Have Un­sat­is­fy­ing Sex with the TA?

Pro­fes­sor: See, hu­mans have what Aris­to­tle calls “ra­tio­nal souls,” mean­ing we use in­tel­lect. Hu­mans ask ques­tions that oth­er liv­ing things can’t, like “what is god? What is the di­vine prob­lem? Where are my Nunchuks? Where did I leave them?”

Phi­los­o­phy Class, UC
San­ta Bar­bara, Cal­i­for­nia