Guy: Jesus puked in your car?
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/06/last-supper.html
Overheard by: rich
Archive for December, 2018
He’ll Be Disappointed When He Learns It Has Nothing to Do With Guns
Youngish mom, enthusiastic: I need shot glasses for work!
Eight-year-old son, excited: I want a shot glass!!
Gift Shop
Branson, Missouri
Figures a Robot Would Be Teaching Sex Ed
Professor, hitting mic and causing feedback: Oops, sorry. [Whispering to self] It’s my android nature.
Human Sexuality class, UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
I Have Them Washed and Brought to My Tent
Girl, joking: I love when girls are walking around drunk with eye makeup smeared around their faces.
Guy: Yeah, those are the ones I try to take home.
Girl: What?
Guy: Do you really think I go around looking for girls with good personalities?
Iowa City, Iowa
What?
Father to son, on golf course: Yeah, while you were away I though about hiring someone to rape me.
Son: What?
Father: It’s supposed to really improve your golf swing!
Eagle, Colorado
I Guess If You Want to Be Anal About It…
Teen girl with group of friends: But I don’t get it… Why would you wipe it *that* way particularly?
(long silence, group of friends look at each other)
Friend, incredulously: Uhh… So you don’t get shit in your vag?
Federation Square
Melbourne
Australia
But Talking Out Of My Ass, Of Course.
Harvard student to another: Okay, so I was thinking in my brain…
Harvard Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: non-ivy-leaguer
Or Maybe It Was White Men Can’t Hunch?
Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can’t Hump. Wait! No! “Hunt”! It was called Fat Men Can’t Hunt. Of course they can hump… If they want to.
Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Martha Carscadden
And We’re Almost Out of Birdseed
Preppy chick to friend: …and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it’s easy to make.
Ohio State University
Overheard by: GameBoy Kid
When You Live in Your Parents’ Basement Apartment
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It’s amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
