Impatient father to 5‑year-old girl in toilet stall: Mary, hurry up, what are you doing in there?
Mary: I was just thinking about how great I am.
Men’s Room, Airport
Fort Myers, Florida
Archive for January, 2019
Often His Holiness Feels the Best Response Is Silence
Asian chick: You feel used? I sent him a picture of my boobs and got nothing!
Nordstrom’s cafe, Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Whether You Deserve It or Not
New York liberal Jewish humanities teacher: You don’t have to be all “ma’am” and stuff around me.
Student: Ma’am, I was raised in the South, you have to expect some non-ironic chivalry, sorry.
Florida State, Tallahassee
Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly
Since Alf Went Out Of the Business
Girl, getting up to leave: Gotta go meet flipper down by the docks, he’s bringing me a shipment of cocaine.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/04/04/amk-freebase-willy/
Overheard by: Ben
Just Remember: “There Are No Small Parts…”
Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?
Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia
When Everything We Do for Them Fails
Nerd #1: Everything men do in their lives is for women.
Nerd #2: Except masturbation — that’s for us.
Gainesville, Florida
So I Won’t Be Voting for Him for President
Gay man to friend: He’s not hot enough to have AIDS!
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser
Always a Burning Question
Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?
Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York
Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared
Or Worse, in Canadia Wearing a Spandex Unitard
Ten-year-old boy to another: Yeah, I told my sister that if she kept it up, she’d end up in Mexico with her panties off.
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: i want to meet the sister
Also to Make Julienne Fries
Freshman #1: I really use a time machine.
Freshman #2: What for?
Freshman #1: Time travel, dumbass.
Northwestern University
Illinois
