Archive for February, 2019

One Word: Hot.

High-school girl: Se­ri­ous­ly, it looked like he’d used her neck as a teething ring or some­thing.

Wilm­ing­ton, Delaware

In­vent­ed by Mis­ter New­ton.

Pro­fes­sor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feel­ings, and oth­ers don’t give a fig.
Stu­dent #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh veg­eta­bles?
(en­tire class goes silent)
Stu­dent #2: I did­n’t know a “fig” was a veg­etable.
Stu­dent #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.

John­son & Wales Uni­ver­si­ty
Prov­i­dence, Rhode Is­land

I’ll Just Slip In­to Some­thing More Com­fort­able

Evo­lu­tion pro­fes­sor: So why can’t hu­mans have more then just two sex­es? Man, that’d be a lot of fun, would­n’t it?
Class: (un­con­trol­lable laugh­ter)
Evo­lu­tion pro­fes­sor: Oh, I can see. (pause) I should­n’t have said any­thing, let’s con­tin­ue…

San­ta Cruz, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: I’m glad he said it