Guy: Dude! Your sister lives in a box!
Arizona
Archive for July, 2019
With Dresden As a Possible Exception
Professor: Well, they had Nazis, but those aren’t exactly lighting fixtures.
Theatre Class, SUNY
Geneseo, New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Stop Laughing — I’m Serious!
Chick #1: What is that? A rape whistle?
Chick #2, wearing whistle around neck: Yeah, it is! [Blows it loudly] I’m gonna rape you!
Cans Bar & Canteen
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Devon
The Secret Is to Keep Moving Fast
Teen girl #1: So what you’re saying is, when I fart I’m smelling my own shit-smell?
Teen girl #2: Exactly. That’s how it works.
Teen girl #1: That’s nasty. I can’t believe people do that all day!
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Sass
Everything He Knows About Americans He Learned from Watching Roseanne Reruns
Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can’t get on because the American will eat me!
Philippines
Nobody Understands Polish Romantic Comedies
Guy #1: So is she your girlfriend now, or what?
Guy #2: Well, I’ve told her I love her a couple of times…
Guy #1: Okay…
Guy #2: But then she just starts speaking in polish and tells me her mum is watching her.
Guy #1: Good, that’s not a ‘no’!
Copenhagen, Danmark
So Why Do They Worship Brooke Shields?
Teen girl: Have you noticed that he’s getting gayer by the minute? I swear he’s getting gayer and gayer–and his eyebrows are getting smaller and smaller.
Teen guy: Ah, yes. The all too telling gay-to-eyebrow ratio…
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: ninita
Deleted Scene from Little Miss Sunshine
Guy #1: Some thieves tried to hot-wire my car at the station yesterday.
Guy #2: Oh my god, really?
Guy #1: Yeah, but they didn’t realize that sometimes it only starts in neutral, so they couldn’t even get it running. Dickheads.
Guy #2: Haha, it’s shitness! It’s like an anti-theft device!
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Jimmy
I Knew I Should’ve Brought a Bigger Purse
Girl: Hold on — my vagina’s falling out.
Brookline Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: superjew
And by “Celebrating Mass” I Mean Exactly What You Think I Mean
18-year-old guy to friend: If I liked kids, I would be celebrating mass at a Catholic church.
Mexico City
Mexico
Overheard by: Kafnut
