I’m So Sneak­ing in­to the Men’s Lock­er Room!

Girl on train: I usu­al­ly do my arms, but then I look at Jane and her hairy arms and think, Man, if she can do it, I can, too!

http://overheardinsydney.blogspot.com/2006/02/when-in-rome-do-as-romans-do.html

You’re No Pussy, Dad

Teenage girl to fa­ther: I did­n’t come out of her vagi­na, okay? I don’t have to re­spect her.
Fa­ther: Well, I guess you don’t re­spect me ei­ther, cause you did­n’t come out of my vagi­na!

Chesa­peake, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: made my day

The Song?

Soros­ti­tute: Like, ohmigod, Africa is like so cute!

Boston, Mass­a­chu­setts

Over­heard by: La­dle

Meet the Hippest Kids in Mon­tana

Tall ado­les­cent: Peach sucks. Daisy’s okay, but peach sucks.
Short ado­les­cent: See, I’ve al­ways been more of a toad fan. Even if he does look kind of like a cir­cum­cised wang.
Tall ado­les­cent: Oh, you.

Mis­soula, Mon­tana

Com­plex­ion, Teeth… Is There Any­thing Spunk Can’t Do?

Soros­ti­tute: I hear sem­i­nal flu­id makes your teeth whiter.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part‑1.html

Over­heard by: doug

The Spon­ta­neous Ad­mis­sion to Grad School Is Just a Myth

Phi­los­o­phy pro­fes­sor: He chose this ex­am­ple be­cause it had sex ap­peal. It turned peo­ple on.
(changes Pow­er­Point slide to pic­ture of bac­te­r­i­al fla­gel­lum)
Male stu­dent: Ohh­h­hh!
Pro­fes­sor: Please don’t have an or­gasm in my class.

Ly­coming Col­lege
Williamsport, Penn­syl­va­nia

It Bounced Back and To­tal­ly Kicked My Ass at Beer Pong

Crim­i­nal jus­tice pro­fes­sor: Ba­bies are hard. I al­most had one die on me. It was pure luck it sur­vived.

http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/05/next-time-go-with-glad-instead-of.html

Over­heard by: city­cat

Not ‘Til You Learn to Ask for Di­rec­tions, Sweet­ie.

Obese girl, look­ing at pink dress: Aww muu­u­um, why can’t I be a gir­rrl?

Sun­shine Plaza
Ma­roochy­dore
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Sal­ly

And That’s Enough Drink­ing for Both of You!

Lit­tle boy #1: Cheers to Aus­tralia!
Lit­tle boy #2: Cheers to my bi­cy­cle!
Lit­tle boy #1: Cheers to my wa­ter!
Lit­tle boy #2: Cheers to my willie!
Mom: Stop that! I told you not to cheers to your willie any­more.

Rot­tnest Is­land
Aus­tralia

Over­heard by: Jer­sey Girl

Best To­fu, Though

Whiny girl: Oh my god, that chick­en is ter­ri­ble!
Hip­ster chick: That’s be­cause it’s to­fu.
Whiny girl: Yeah, worst chick­en ever.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/tastes-like-chicken.html

Over­heard by: sarafist