Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…
London
England
Overheard by: gin
Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…
London
England
Overheard by: gin
Girl to pizza delivery guy: So that’s a meat feast, a ham and pineapple, a chicken supreme, and a Margherita for Amy because she’s a lesbian.
Amy: I’m a vegetarian!
Sheffield
England
Guy to girl: I just had this overwhelming urge to drink vinegar, and it worked!
University of New Orleans
Louisiana
Loud 40-something: The government wants to cut down on unplanned pregnancy and decrease abortions, but a dozen condoms is as much as a 12-pack of beer? Hello, middle America is not choosing condoms over beer!
Burlington, Vermont
Teacher: Your papers are due next Wednesday. They need to be at least two pages, double spaced.
Blonde girl: Wait… do you mean two spaces between each word?
Lincoln High School, Portland, Oregon
Wife to husband while watching the news: Oh my god! Hahahaha, did you hear what they just said?
Husband: About how that guy “took it on the chin”?
Wife: Yeah, I can’t believe they said that on the news!
Husband: I don’t think that means what you think it means.
Wife: Oh.
Toronto
Canadia
Blonde #1: I think it’s good we called off the wedding.
Blonde #2: Yeah, marriage probably wasn’t the best idea.
Blonde #1: I wonder if I would’ve actually gone through with it.
Blonde #2: Do you seriously think you would have?!
Blonde #1: Well, maybe…
Blonde #2: But he slept with me right after he proposed to you!
Blonde #1: Yeah, I guess…
Blonde #2: And he went up my ass!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/put-that-in-pre-nup.html
Overheard by: juniper
Nerdy girl to Asian friend: I mean, it was pathetic. I could’ve had my top off and had a sign around my neck that said “free blowjobs” and they wouldn’t have noticed. They were all crowded around Mike watching him play Pokemon.
Chicago, Illinois
Sorority girl, upset: And then her other sister had sex with my sister!
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: really curious about the rest of that conversation
Girl looking at herself in the mirror to stranger: Do I look crazy? Do I look like a drag queen? I’m on a first date and I’m really nervous.
Bar Bathroom
Chicago, Illinois
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist