Archive for January, 2020

Um, What?

Tired restaurant patron: Why would Reese’s Pieces put out rhesus monkeys? That’s just wrong!

Restaurant
Ocala, Florida

Overheard by: Fully aware restaurant patron

If You Double-Clutch Me, I’ll Bite It Off

Girl on cell: Yes, that’s exactly how I want to die! You driving us drunk down the highway at a hundred miles per hour while I give you head and you use one hand to play with my tits and the other to shift gears!

University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: Anne