Archive for February, 2020

For­mer Kinder­garten Teach­ers Make Quite Ef­fi­cient Ho­bos

Hobo #1, hold­ing sneak­er, to an­oth­er: Put that shoe on!
Hobo #2: Man, I don’t want to sweat in the shoe. That’ll make my feet stink!
Hobo #1: Man, what the fuck you wor­ried about? Your feet al­ready stink. I can smell them from here. Those peo­ple can smell them from here. Now put on your god­damn shoes and tie that shit up tight. No one wants to smell what you got. Now I’m go­ing to stand here and watch you tie those shoes for the good of every­one on this train.
(oth­ers on train ap­plaud)

MAR­TA Train
At­lanta, Geor­gia

Over­heard by: Fi­nal­ly, a hu­man­i­tar­i­an home­less man

The Eter­nal Ques­tion

Teen girl on cell: Why would you open a bag if you knew there was go­ing to be a head in it?

Tal­la­has­see, Flori­da

Over­heard by: Bradlee


And Get That Han­nah Mon­tana Ring­tone I’ve Been Want­i­ng

Hip­ster boy: So, are you do­ing that post-bac pre-med thing?
Hip­ster girl: I dunno…I don’t re­al­ly know what I wan­na do.
Hip­ster boy: Re­al­ly, you don’t wan­na do med­i­cine any­more?
Hip­ster girl: I dun­no, I wish I could like, win the lot­tery. Then I’d go to like, Ghana, and just save peo­ple.

NYU El­e­va­tor