Archive for March, 2020

Hard­ly Worse Than Get­ting Dick-Poked Be­fore Birth

[hus­band and wife are push­ing stroller through the mall. Sud­den­ly an­oth­er man rush­es up and picks the hus­band up, twirling him around while every­one cracks up]Man, look­ing over at child: Wow, that would be a re­al­ly awk­ward first mem­o­ry!

Spot­syl­va­nia Towne Cen­tre
Fred­er­icks­burg, Vir­ginia

Over­heard by: That Girl In The Kiosk

Wait– What Ex­act­ly Are You Us­ing As a Vol­ley­ball?

Mom to three-year-old son un­der the ta­ble: Whatcha’ doin’ un­der there, bud­dy?
Three-year-old son: Play­ing vol­ley­ball.
Dad: Vol­ley­ball? Smells like you’re poop­ing your pants.
Three-year-old son, gig­gling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sis­ter to friend: See, I told you it was­n’t the food.

Los Tres Ami­gos Mex­i­can Restau­rant
Michi­gan

Over­heard by: Scott