Archive for March, 2020

“…Would You Care for a Dead Rat?”

Man at bus stop: So I’m standing there at the counter, sorting time cards, doing my job, and the secretary looks up and says, “okay, I don’t care that you do it, and it doesn’t bother me personally, but the custodian says he’s tired of cleaning up twenty dead rats every day.” And all I can say is, “well, what else am I supposed to do?”

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: Tsunoba

Are You Deflating?

Guy lying on girl’s stomach: Your bellybutton is probably the worst thing I’ve smelled this week.

São Paulo

Overheard by: what about last week?

Anybody Have Any Bread?

(student coughs violently into hands, spewing fake blood)
Lit professor: Oh my god! Are you okay?
Student: (coughing up more blood) Can I go to the bathroom?
Lit professor: Oh my god, go, go!
(student leaves)
Lit professor: (realizing it’s April 1st) Haha… His consumption smells like raspberries.

Colorado University, Boulder

Overheard by: In the back of the classroom